Helmut Zemo One-Shots: Zemo x Reader Because I Know Y'all Are Thirsty AF

Cute Kid

BEFORE READING: Apparently I have to make this clear because each round of young ones are worst than the last. If you are a minor, DO NOT read any chapters marked as 'smut'. If I find out you are a minor reading my mature content, I will block you for your own safety. I don't care how mature you think you are, it's inappropriate and uncomfortable. Feel free to read any chapters not marked as 'smut'.
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Zemo was not not happy to see you today. Would he have preferred different circumstances? Absolutely. But unfortunately he refused to address his growing feelings for his colleague, and new the Power Broker just called about another job. Someone's payments were long overdue, meaning Zemo & his pretend assassin had to pay them a visit. 

Well, not exactly pretend. Certain jobs required more than just scare tactics. 

The barron knocks on the chipped door, waiting for you to answer. He didn't really understand why you still lived in this shitty apartment. You made enough money to get a decent one bedroom, or even a nicer quality studio. At least he had convinced you to move to Hightown. 

You swing the door open, pistol pointed directly at Zemo. It doesn't phase him, seeing as you do this every time he comes to get you. You lower the gun and sigh. "Another job? We just got back from one not even five hours ago." You're met with a shrug. 

"A job is a job, money is money, and the Power Broker doesn't take it too kindly when their employees don't comply." He watches as you brush your hair out of your face, restraining himself from reaching out to do the same. "Now go put some clothes on. I don't think anyone will be intimidated by a woman in bunny underwear." Turned on, maybe. Intimidated, no. 

"Zemo, I can't go. My sitter is busy and-" Sitter?

"Mommy, who's at the door? Is it Mr. Norman again?" A small child walks out from one of the rooms, rubbing his eyes. He looks no more than six years, and reminds Zemo of how his son would wake up in the night to see what he was doing. 

"No, Sammy. It's Mommy's coworker. Go back to bed." Sammy. That's an adorable name. 

Sammy shakes his head, heading to stand with the adults. His huge brown doe eyes look up at the man. "Are you the guy Mommy talks about?" Your face visibly gets hot and the barron chuckles. 

"I am not sure. But I do work with your mother, and I can tell you she is amazing at what she does." He kneels down to Sammy's height, digging into his pockets to pull out colorful wrapped squares of candy. "And because she is wonderful at her job, I am going to have to borrow her for a little while. You can snack on Turkish Delight while waiting for her." The boy excitedly takes the candy, happily saying his thank you's. 

Zemo stands and smiles at you. "I can have Oeznik watch over him while we are gone. We should only be away for an hour or two." You sigh, but thank him and tell him to wait in the living room with Sammy while you change. 

Oeznik on his way and you getting changed, Zemo smiles as he talks to little Sammy. The child is a very curious one, and one of the only people he's met that warmed up to him quickly. 

"So you're Zemo? Mommy calls you 'Barron Smirk-yPants.' I dunno what that is, but she looks happy when she says it." Awww. She has secret nicknames for him. 

"That's very interesting. Don't tell your mother, but sometimes I refer to her as schnuki." He holds in a laugh as the little one gasps, covering his mouth with his tiny hands. His eyes wide like he just saw a unicorn. Does he know German? 

"Mr. Norman calls his husband that. Are you going to marry Mommy? You seem nice, I wouldn't care if you're my new daddy. Can I be the flower boy? Are you getting her chocolates?" Oh my- This kid was going to kill him. So precious, and making him think a little too much about his feelings for the boy's mother. 

"No, we are not getting married. I'd like us to someday, but first I have to tell her that." Sammy nods, then runs up to you. Shit- You'd been standing there for awhile. But Zemo simply stands, offering his arm after you'd told Oeznik who to call if anything happened. 

You seem a little flustered as you two walked out, so Barron Smirkypants gave you his signature smirk, saying next your ear, "Cute kid."