Helmut Zemo One-Shots: Zemo x Reader Because I Know Y'all Are Thirsty AF

James The Translator (16+)

A/N: Inspired by a video & conversation with maraleigh77 on TikTok. 

Soft awkward Zemo is best Zemo. 

Gender-neutral pronouns.

CONTENT WARNING: Sexual references.

dragă = darling

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It had been a long, exhausting night. The mission hadn't even been successful. Another Hydra agent got away with weapons. This week wasn't their best, but luckily they didn't have to report anything until they got back to the states. 

Zemo crashed on the couch while Sam and James got the drinks. You sat in a chair next to the couch, looking at the baron. Even when he was exhausted he was pretty. You wondered if that was from good genes, a royal upbringing, or both. 

"Y'know, even all sweaty and tired you're pretty c-" 

"Be a good idiot and shut up, will you?" He grumbled from the couch cushions. It took a minute, but he realized what he said and shot up. Your face was bright up and you were squirming a bit. Shit, he made you uncomfortable- 

"I'm so sorry! I didn't mean- I- Of course you're not an idiot, and I don't why I said it like that-" You were just shaking your head, mumbling out 'It's fine'. Fuck, he fucked up. And now Sam and James were staring at him like he had three heads. 

Zemo got up and walked out of the room, ashamed and unsure of himself. Why did he say that? You weren't an idiot. You were intelligent, caring, strategic, chaotic, beautiful- 

"You know they've been trying to get you to say something like that for awhile now, right?" 

Zemo turned to James, who was standing just outside the apartment door with him. 

"What? Why would they-"

"Because they're a kinky a fucker with a crush on you." 

Wha- Tha- No, that doesn't make sense. You clearly had a think for James. Not him. First off, he was a criminal and terrorist-turned-antihero. Secondly, he could barely speak to you in most circumstances. Thirdly, he was an awkward fuck that could only communicate through analyzing and degrada- 

Oh- 

OH- 

James smirked. "Did your thick skull figure out, Zemo?" He simply gave a nod in return, feeling his face get hot. This explained a few things. 

"So.... When they kept poking me and pouted that I calmly asked what was up..."

"Uh-huh." 

"The time they kept calling themself a whore and were upset that I said they weren't?" 

"Yeah, they weren't too subtle with that one." 

"And... This whole time... I've been acting like a fool..."

James shrugged. "Kind of. But it's one of the things they like so much about you." 

Well. This was. Interesting. 

The rest of the week was awkward, but in a flirty way. At least that's what Zemo hoped. He tried giving you more compliments, although he tripped over his words almost every single time. He was both glad and angry he wore a mask during fights, seeing as you loved to flirt during. It hid his cherry red cheeks well, but didn't help with the breathing problem. Not to mention when you did make him blush without his mask, you commented on how adorable he looked all flushed. 

He had even dared to give you a quick peck on the forehead at one point. You seemed to like it well enough, smiling for the rest of the day. You even returned the gesture when he was having trouble getting his words out again. It didn't help with the stutter, but it did make his heart swell. 

And during this time Bucky had been giving him lessons on how to act cool in more specific situations. Which did come in handy after the last mission. 

"Fuck you, Helmut!" 

"Please, I-" 

"No! You can't just jump in front of bullets like that!" 

"It was to protect y-"

"I don't care! You could've di-"

Zemo sighs and tilts his head, catching your attention. He's never used the head tilt on you before. He rests his head on his fist, a tired yet bemused expression on his face. 

"Be quiet like a good pet, yes?" 

Damn Helmut Zemo and someone teaching him your weaknesses.

"F-fuck y-you..." 

His smirk didn't help. "If you'd like, dragă." 

"I would love to. But first, I have to kill Bucky."