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my feet hit the soft, luscious grass as i stroll around the pond. breathing in the cool air on this warm day. this is the place where i feel safe, i eventually found comfort in the vibrant water trickling down the fountain. this is where you can often find me reminiscing about the time i spent with her. she was like no one else i had ever met before. she caught my eye straight away, it was almost like we were connected, our hearts yearning to meet. we were only young back then, nothing to fear. just two lonely souls intertwining finally. i spent most of my free time with her, watching the sunset and going on long drives to the beach. i was failing most of my classes because of this, but i didn't mind. i knew us spending time together made her happy and that's all i cared about.
i was aware of the trouble she had at home. her dad was away for work the majority of the time and her mum never seemed to care about her at all. that's why she always wanted to get out of the house. her dad joined the army when she was five, he came home for a couple of weeks each year until he eventually never returned. this was not surprising since her mother was narcissistic and never treated him right. after he left, her house became even more gloomy than it ever was. the garden was overgrown and the yellow paint on the door was cracking. it was as though her childhood home had aged rapidly and no longer had life left inside of it. i would drive all the way to her house just for her mother to send me away. she said that i had a bad influence on her kid. one night i decided to drive to her house and give her flowers, hoping to cheer her up. when i pressed my palm against her door, to my surprise her mother came bursting out with a shocked look upon her aging face. she grabbed at my shoulders harshly and i stumbled back down the two steps on the front porch.
"where is she?" she spat at me through her crooked teeth. i was so shocked that i had lost all of my knowledge of the english language. she asked me again for the second time, this time she was less aggressive and sounded worried. she could tell by the look on my face that i was just as confused as she was and let her hands slip from my shoulders. "what do you mean, where is she?" i stuttered. she told me that her child had not come that night and the last time she saw her was when they had a heated argument about her father this morning. now that i think about it, she didn't even come to school that day at all and we had an exam. the flowers fell apart and they were slammed on the icy concrete. i sped away in my car along the highway to the only place i could think of that she would be. as i exited my vehicle, the smell of the flowers that were blooming near the pond filled my nose. my feet hit the soft, luscious grass as i dashed around the pond searching for my love.
as i turned the corner, i hoped to feel a rush of relief at the sight. instead, my stomach churned and my heart felt as though it was no longer beating. all i could see was her long, golden hair floating in the pond. that was the last time i could touch her, as i dragged her lifeless body from the water. she had left me on purpose without a note. i never got the chance to tell her that i truly loved her and for that i will forever be sorry. i could not pin-point the moment when she lost her motivation, but i could see her slowly fading away each time i arrived at her home.
i miss the way she blushed when i tangled my fingers with hers. i miss her crooked smile and how our bodies fit so perfectly against each other. the way she fiddled with her rings when she was nervous and the silly faces that she made when she was concentrated. i was irretrievably in love with her and that love still carries on today, even though i can no longer see her, i can feel her. her untimely death caused a hole to appear in my life. as i am sitting here at the pond, i can't help but wonder what life would be like now if she were still alive.
we promised that we would live a happy life together, now it's time for me to keep that promise on my own.
