Ripped Love Letters / Isagi Yoichi

X

There's a knock at the door, "Ninomae?" It's getting louder and harsher with each tap of his knuckle.

"Shit." Ninomae hisses, this wasn't supposed to happen. She looks over to the series of letters sprawled out on her desk, and messily throws them into her closet.

She holds her phone up to her mouth, "Isagi."

"Yeah?" He hums.

"Kazuya is outside my door--" The knocking gets louder, so she lowers her voice even more. "I need you to stay on the call, but mute yourself. I want you to listen to our conversation, okay?"

"Oh...alright." He says, followed by silence.

Ninomae slips her phone in the pockets of her basketball shorts. Her fingers twitch as she reaches for the golden door knob, taking a deep breath so her voice wouldn't waver. The door swings open, she fakes annoyance, "What do you want?"

He clicks his tongue and pushes through the arms she's holding out to open the door. Ninomae's face flashes with surprise, but not too much-- nothing she hadn't expected.

His eyes look around the room, looking for a certain boy. She parts her lips to start yelling at him when he whips his head around.

"Where is he." He gives her a dead stare. "Where is he?" He raises his voice and steps towards her.

"Who? Whose he?" She smirks while backing up, trying to annoy Kazuya.

As expected, it works. "Ninomae. I asked where he was. You heard me!" He bunches up her shirt collar with his fist. His eyes widen at his own volume, and he takes a step back; letting Ninomae hear his small mutter of 'sorry.'

She sighs, and fixes her shirt. "Listen, why do you even care? If he was here, why do you care-?!"

He looks away to avoid her staring, "You know why, Ninomae. Don't play dumb with me."

"No, Kazuya. I don't know. For once I have no idea what you're talking about-- isn't that what you wanted?!" She steps closer to him, "So what is that I don't know!?"

The room echoes her shouts, followed by a loud silence.

"You probably knew before I did." He dejectedly runs his hand through his red-orange hair, his eyes dark, despite the shine of the room's ceiling light.

His voice comes out below a whisper, "We both know I like him."

Ninomae's intense eyes relax, her footsteps pattering closer and closer towards Kazuya. She pulls his arm and gestures to him to sit on her bed, to which he complies.

His eyes sting, he hates crying in front of his sister. He doesn't care right now, his eyes are pooling, tears running down his red face.

What a great time to come out, he thinks. He tries to chuckle at his thoughts, and fails, a muffled sob coming out.

Ninomae purses her lips, she doesn't know what to do. All the words that she wants to say fall flat on her tongue, the only sounds heard are his gasps for air and the swerving of cars passing by outside of her window.

She's sorry, but she can't say it. She doesn't even know if she would actually be genuine about it. So she holds her mouth closed, remembering a similar event from three years ago.

"I won't say I'm sorry, because I don't mean it."

"And I won't forgive you, because I'm not ready to."

Her life as a child was uneventful, just picking flowers to give to the girl she had a crush on in recess and faking stomach aches to leave class.

Her younger self would've thought her and her brother would've been friends by now, but reality hit her by the time she was eleven, Kazuya was twelve. Her brother and her were fighting, this time it was the most serious conversation (fight) they had ever had.

"Mom hit me because you told her I liked guys!"

"Yeah? Well, I don't care!"

That fight was the start of the crumbling to their sibling relationship, 'this is it.' She had thought back then.

She's sorry. She wants to scream; she wants to cry and gasp for air like her brother, but she can't, her emotions are running dry and disappearing with the air.

A single tear falls from her eyes, she lowers her head to hide it. To shield herself, her pride, and vulnerability, because unlike Kazuya, she isn't ready to chase after it.

Her voice cracks, "Sorry."

"I know." He slowly lifts his arms, then roughly pulls her into a hug. The wind gets knocked out of her lungs, but she doesn't care. Her arms are warm while wrapped around his back.

"I'm sorry." She repeats into his shoulder. Her feelings are bubbling in her stomach, creating a migraine in her head. How desperately she wants to let go, but she isn't ready yet.

"I know, Ninomae, I know."