Ice and Snow, Mind and Heart

Chapter 52: Leave or Stay

Sesshomaru froze as Yuki kissed him, his mind and body shutting down and focusing only on the soft sensation of her lips on his.

It was by no means as passionate as her anger had been, but neither was it quite a chaste kiss as Yuki effectively silenced Sesshomaru. She broke the kiss relatively quickly as well, leaning back and breathing heavily as she looked up at Sesshomaru while he stared back at her wordlessly.

"Yes, actually – I do know." Yuki replied, the hint of sarcasm in her tone slightly lost as she was still a little breathless both from the kiss and the adrenaline rush of what she had done.

Sesshomaru continued to stare at her, unable to speak, and Yuki chuckled - though it was without humour.

"Look at that." She muttered, unable to quite tear her gaze off his. "Looks like I've managed to shut the great Sesshomaru up."

Sesshomaru didn't rise to her bait, his mind too busy swirling with the implications for his and Yuki's relationship now that she had gone and kissed him.

Yuki appeared to understand the war going on inside Sesshomaru; or perhaps, she was feeling mixed feelings as well.

Her lips curved into a wry smile as she told him, eerily calmly: "You don't have to say anything now, Sesshomaru. I'm just... making my stance clear."

She finally glanced away, clearing her throat a little nervously as she finished: "It's your move, next."

With that, she turned and walked off, calling over her shoulder: "Come on, Sesshomaru. As you said, Rin's waiting – and we aren't going to make it back to them by tomorrow morning at this rate."

He scowled a little at her teasing jab, but Sesshomaru was still too distracted to really respond. He simply walked behind her, keeping his eyes on her but not really seeing her as he let himself fall into his thoughts.

There was no denying now – he wanted her, and not just physically. His heart had been warmed in a way that he had never thought possible when she had kissed him.

And that meant there was no going back to where they had been surprising friends', though he still refused to quite acknowledge that he ever had any 'friends'.

The only thing left for them was to either agree to go on with this tentative... thing... between them; or to choose to go back to being grudging allies if not enemies.

After all, they both knew – he had to admit – that if they agreed not to go forward, then it was almost entirely because of her lineage. No matter what excuse he gave, and he would give none (he wouldn't insult her like that), they would know his rejection was because she was not a full demon.

His own confusion on his feelings aside, Sesshomaru was too aware of what it would mean to take a half-demon for a mate – and how it would be perceived. He didn't quite mind, never having really cared about what others said despite the fact that he was a lord; but, he remembered all too well how his father had met his demise.

Yuki was stronger than a mortal woman, but she was by no means and could never be as strong as a full-fledged demon. After all, he was reminded every month of just how vulnerable she could be. And if he took her as his mate, he would be opening himself to her weakness – for life.

If he rejected her because of that...

To reject her based on her heritage was a harsh line to draw, and one he somewhat regretted not drawing early in their alliance. Perhaps then he would have known better than to succumb to emotions and perhaps it would have also taught Yuki better than to fall for him in the first place.