Lost... ||A Kim Namjoon story||

Chpt two: How I knew...

Chapter two: How I knew...
Yoongi POV
The recording studio

He's been much different these past few weeks...His kind, gentle laugh is always that fake, short one he always does in interviews. Not even a single true smile.

Even when I told him I loved him...He simply shrugged and told me,
"Stop lying, Hyung. I know you don't."
This broke my heart. What caused him to loose all faith in himself. I wondered that every night until...I saw with my very own eyes.

14:08PM, Sunday,
18th April, 2018

"If love and hate mean the same. I love you, Seoul~" The angelic voice of our beloved leader sung softly. He was recording a new song for his new album, MONO.

None of us knew what the album was about since he never told us. It was a "private" project according to him.
It all seemed off when he was in the studio. The way he covered his arms suspiciously, always checking if they somehow slipped down. Slight tears welling up in his kind eyes as he sung his heart out. It wasn't that much of a concern at first.

I sat on the couch near the recording booth, watching the boy with a small smile. The way his body moves when he sings never fails to bring a smile to my face. He puts so much into his songs. It's honestly amazing...I admire him so much. I'll never stop. I never did. Even when he left this world, I still admired him with all my fucked up heart.

As he finished up his song, all I could remember was the state of his wrists and all over his arms as he stretched. The deep scars all over his sunkissed skin.
I know for a fact, this wasn't normal at all. No one does this without a reason.
He swiftly pulled his sleeves back over his arms and slowly put the headphones down, and made his way over to me.

He seemed so frail...His fingers were way skinner than usually. Especially the rest of his body. It looked unnatural. He was literal skin and bone. The bags under this eyes darker than any I've ever seen. Obvious tear stains from crying many hours ago. His lips were awfully chapped and cracked, looking quite painful actually.

"Namjoon? are you alright..?" I asked gently as I stood up to get a better look at my leader. It broke my heart as he wiped the forming tears in his eyes and he simply nodded with a forced smile. I missed his true smile...It was beautiful and shiny. Instead, he simply gives us this weak one. The weak smile was joined with broken looking eyes.

"Namjoon. There's something clearly wrong. Sit. Tell me. What's going on? You don't look too hot..." Thus only made more tears form in his beautiful eyes. He simply shook his head and ran out the recording studio.
I sat there. Shocked. What made our beloved leader do this to himself...

Something was clearly wrong...