||Her Search For Freedom||

Chapter 5

It feels like destiny, like she was destined to be locked up. Like it was supposed to happen and nothing could ever change it. She feels like a bird in a cage, who is fed at the right time, taken care of, but never, not once taken out. She feels like those Psycho people who do things they don't know they are doing, and are locked up in some place where they have hundreds of like them. She never believed in something called FREEDOM. She thinks that every single person on earth is trapped somewhere. Usually, mentally. Even those men who have a proper family and are free to go anywhere, are trapped in stress and anxiety. About their children's studies and life or maybe about their own parent's medical problems, illnesses and diseases.

No one on earth is free, everyone is trapped in their own words and worlds. Everyone has a thought and problem to worry about always. One problem solved, there's another on your doorstep, one thought forgotten, another is on its way. Nothing is for eternity, not a single problem or thought but isn't difficult to forget it either.

What is life? Life is not eternity. Life is not true. It's full of lies, that's why if there is a little truth, we think life Is true. Every step towards a good life leads to a new problem and thought. Why do people think that much, why do people think and imagine things that can never happen?

People think that much because they can't say it. People think and imagine impossible things because, they can't do them. If they do them, they won't be impossible anymore and also would be less fun.
The only thing a person can do to survive reality and truth is to believe, believe in something impossible. The thought of the impossible thing will last forever in their brain and they wouldn't be able to think of something negative, they won't be able to think of lies and unrealistic things. They'll oy think of that one impossible thing. And would live their life as it's been forever but not eternity.

To those who believe life is true, it's a fake truth. It's not a proper lie, it's a fake truth. Like water, it's not always water, it's not truth. It turns into ice and also into steam. See, it's not a proper lie either, it's a fake truth.

To those who believe life is a fake truth, you think axactly like Yeontheo, she has been writing this all in her journal. The journal she got when she finally knew how to write. She believes in life once being Truth, but it was us, the humans who made it a lie.

She writes every night before sleep, about her day, other new things she learnt that day, about the thoughts and feelings she had alone at home and about the new unanswered questions about life. The days when she can't sleep or when she is bored, she reads her journal and tries to find answers to her unanswered questions about life.

She loves mysteries. Mostly, about life. Even after all those years of her quest to find the real meaning of life, she hasn't succeeded yet. She wants to know the REAL meaning of life. After all the answers she's got from books, none has satisfied her.

The questions she thinks about the most are written at the end of the journal. Her journal is of her favorite color, purple. The last page is covered in her beautiful writing:

-What to do when I can't do anything about anything?

-Why do I imagine things that can never happen in reality?

-Why is it like my inner self is invisible when it comes to know myself?

-Why is my reflection my best friend? Is it Cuz it's the only one who cried when I did and smiled when I did?

-Whom should I age and change with? My imagination? Huh. Yeah. That'd be great.

As already mentioned, Yeontheo knows how does the outer world look like, she knows how it rains, how it snows but hasn't just felt it in her next life. The best example to understand how it is like is how you feel after you finally wake up from a serious coma. You do know what is the feeling when you step on autumn leaves and how their cracking sound is like soothing music to your ears. You do know the feeling when a car passes by you so fastly that you think you could have flied with it. You do know how it snows, you do know how leaves grow on a tree, you know how a flower blooms. But you haven't felt it in those years of your coma.

It can be said that Theo is in a coma herself, she hasn't felt anything for a while, and the only time she could ever get out of that coma is when she is free.

When she has finished her Search for freedom.