Say you'll remember me

I'm going to miss you

A slightly crumpled piece of paper stared him down. Perhaps he had never exactly been one for reading, but never in his life had one page needed an entire hour to even approach.

Actually more like two hours.

What was holding him back? Fear? Was he afraid of Caesar? Well.. not exactly, it was more like all the things Caesar could say, could be mad with him over, could be upset with him over, could leave him over.

Leave him over? It was a laughable thought, presuming they had something in the first place, when they both knew they were dodging it. Skirting past comments from Lisa Lisa and Suzie at every turn was awful, only technically not lying, it fit his brand, sure, but he didn't feel better for it.

Summoning some vague remnant of his courage, Joseph seized the letter up, he could do this, he could do this, he'd only been putting off reading it for one- two- four weeks. Piece of cake.

It was not a piece of cake.

Hardly had he gotten past the words 'Dear Jojo' than the letter was on the other side of the room. He stared down the offending item, he wasn't going to run from this, he wasn't a coward. He wasn't.

Shakily, he opened the letter once more willing himself not to cry, because he'd be damned to admit that he missed that bastard. Smoothing the crumpled edges of the paper, he finally managed to bring his watering eyes to read the neat lines of graceful pen-work.

Dear Jojo,

I would love to tell you I'm glad to see you go, that I'm glad I can finally get some peace and quiet, now that your idiotic behaviour is no longer ruining my life. I would love to describe all the things I'm going to do now you're gone. But I can't do that. I can't lie to you, though this is a letter, you would no doubt find some way to detect them through the paper. So I'll be honest, as honest as I can be without making a mess of things.

I'm going to miss you, I miss you already as I'm writing this, though I know it's idiotic, like mourning someone who's not dead yet. Part of me considered asking you to stay, I know you wouldn't be able to, your grandmother, if the way you talk about her is any indication, cares about you too much for that. Besides, you neither care for Italy, nor speak a word of Italian.

You've made it clear how much you despise writing, so I don't expect a reply. I simply wish for you to know I care, however much I may have bruised you during training or insulted your intelligence(if indeed you possess any), I'm going to miss you. You've ruined my life Jojo, and I don't think it'll ever be the same.

Yours truly,
Caesar (Caesarino) Anthonio Zeppeli, with love.

The paper slipped to the floor, landing with a soft noise somewhere Joseph couldn't bother to pinpoint, that was unimportant now. All his attention now focused on the last two words, "with love".

They could mean a million throwaway things, but there was the slimmest chance, and maybe he was imagining it, that it meant what he hoped it meant. But whatever the intention, it meant that, though the letter felt as if it were sealing shut old chapters of his life, one that already felt light-years away, Caesar loved him. In one way or another, he cared enough to put those words in his goodbye.

Tears that had been previously contained began to trace stains down his cheeks. And he let them. He wept for Caesar, for all the things he'd wanted to tell him, for all his missed opportunities to do so, and because damn it, he missed Caesar. So much.

And, because Caesar was right. He never would write him back.

He wouldn't know what to say.