Five months (One-shots)

Five months

Five months, five months ago Carina had returned to Italy. Five months in which Maya had not slept well, in which she forgot that she had to eat because her thoughts were always on the Italian. 5 months in which she gave herself completely to her work at the station, because it was the only thing that kept her sane, the only thing that made her forget at least for a second that she had lost the most important person in her life. The original plan was that Carina would go to Italy for a while until she could solve the problems with her visa and soon she would return home, to her life with Maya. But things don't always go as planned and unfortunately for Maya things took a turn for the worst.

"We will be okay I'll be back before you know it. I'll be back" "promise?" "sí".

That was the conversation that invaded Maya every night, every time she tried to sleep she remembered that conversation in the bathroom, right after seeing Carina bring a new life into the world and realizing that every day she fell more and more in love with her.

"We'll be okay Maya, we'll be okay."

Maya wished with all her might that this was true, she closed her eyes and remembered the moments she lived with Carina and couldn't help but smile, until again she remembered that life doesn't always give you what you want and people don't always keep their promises.

Five months, five months in which she had been away from the love of her life. The love of her life? Yes Maya was one hundred percent sure that Carina was the love of her life, that she would never meet someone who would make her feel the same way, she would never find someone as special as Carina.

- I miss you, how much longer do we have to wait.

- I don't know bambina, a month or two more maybe.

- This month has been torture, I don't know if I can take two more months.

- Of course you can, time will go by fast and when you least expect it we will be together again.

- You always know what to say to make me feel better, I love you.

- I love you too Maya.

"I love you too Maya"  Those were my favorite words and I would never hear them again.

- Two months, the worst two months of my life, I can't wait for you to come back.

- I know, but things are getting worse here, people need me Maya.

- I know, you are amazing at what you do and the way you care about people is one of the many reasons I love you. But I still wish we were together.

- Me too Maya, me too.

"People need me Maya"  Now it's me who needs you Carina, I need you more than ever and not having you is like running out of air to breathe.

- Maya what are you doing?

- Packing, I'm going to Italy.

- Maya you can't the airport is closed, there are no flights to Italy.

- I need to go to Italy Andy, I need to be with her.

- Calm down Maya, she's going to be ok.

- I should have gone with her Andy, I shouldn't have let her go alone. I have to be with her, she needs me, she needs me.

Five months, five months without being able to kiss you, without being able to hug you, without feeling your intoxicating scent, without hearing your laugh in person, without being able to sleep next to you, five months.

"I'll be back before you know it. I'll be back"  But you haven't come back yet and never will.

- You need to eat Maya.

- I can't, besides I'm not hungry.

- Is there any news?

- It's all the same, she hasn't improved and the doctors don't know what to do.

- She's going to be fine Maya.

- You don't know Andy. I should  be with her, I should have gone with her, I should have protected her.

- None of this is your fault Maya, you couldn't have done anything to stop it, no one could.

- I can't leave her alone Andy, I need to be with her, I need her.

Five months, you can never imagine the turn your life can take in five months.

- Every day I imagine the moment when you come back to me, when I see you walk out the airport doors and I can finally run to hug you. When I can finally hold you close again and show you how much I love you. I promise that when you come back I will make you the best coffee every morning, I finally got Gabriella to tell me her secret and I have been practicing.

I don't know if you can hear me, but I want you to know that you changed my life completely Carina. That thanks to you I discovered that I don't have to wait for death to set me free, that I can love and rest. Before you nothing mattered more to me than being the best at everything "eyes forward all the time". Now all I want is for you to get better, to come home, to come back to me. I love you Carina, I love you so much, I can't lose you.

Five months, five months ago I took you to the airport and I promised you that everything would be ok, that we would be ok.

- Maya you can't keep working like this, you need to take a break.

- I'm fine Andy, it's my job, let me do my job.

- Maya please go home, take a bath, get some sleep. Since when haven't you eaten?

- I said I'm fine, now go and let me do my job.

"Go home"  I can't go home, because you're not here anymore and nowhere feels like home.

- I'm so sorry we did everything we could, but her lungs just couldn't take it anymore. We are so sorry for your loss.

Five months, five months since I made the worst decision of my life. Five months, if only I had taken that flight with you, maybe I wouldn't have to be here now, saying goodbye to you through a screen. Maybe I would be waking up next to you, caressing your skin, admiring your smile and watching your eyes narrow every time I make you laugh. Maybe, but life had other plans and snatched you away from me without warning.

- I know you are safe now with Andrew and your mama. And no matter what I know you will always be by my side. I love you Carina I will always love you.