𝐿𝑒𝓉𝓉𝑒𝓇𝓈 𝓉𝑜 𝐻𝒾𝓂...

31/08/22

Today you left me for the second time. Today you took my heart and broke it again. Today you left me confused and hurt more than ever. To be honest I really thought that the second time was going to be it. That we really where gonna be forever. But you showed me that it was not gonna be. Did you know that I loved you ? truly loved you. And still do love you. Which hurts even more. It hurts so much that I cant breath. When you sent me that text I stopped. And so did everything around me. The world, everyone just stopped. I couldn't breath for seconds after that. I just couldn't breath knowing you where no longer by my side. Knowing we where not together anymore, Knowing my heart was going to be yours and that would never change. I promised you a lot. Promised you I wouldn't leave and that I'd always love you. Always and forever but you left, not me. And I'll keep my promises forever. Your that boy. Every girl has that boy  that they'll always love forever and never truly get over, the one they'll give up everything and everyone for. You are that boy. Whether you like it or not. And I will tell you that one day. Idk why I'm writing this to be honest my handwritings so messy but I'm writing it because I want you to know I guess. You haven't blocked me on anything and so I have no way of texting you all my thoughts and feelings like last time. But its good you haven't blocked me, I'd rather that then be completely erased from your life. See that's what I worry about. School starts on Friday which means I'll see you again. I keep wondering and worrying about how things will turn out at school. Will you hate me ? Be rude to me ? Joke about stupid things ? Tell me you didn't mean something but deep down you did ? I worry that you'll ignore me and be weird with me. Act like before. Like I was non-existent. Like I had never been your girlfriend. Like I was nothing to you. I worry that it'll happen. But maybe its just me. Maybe I'm overthinking it and it will all be alright. But I cant bare the thought of you completely ignoring me. I don't wanna think about how I'll be nothing to you. I'm worried about it. Its stupid and I'll be laughing about it one day but I'm so worried. I'm hurting so much right now but what will hurt more is you erasing me from your life. To be honest atleast now when I say I have nothing left to loose I can mean it. I really have nothing left to loose, no one can take anything from me. You where my everything and now your gone. I have nothing, no one. Especially now I need someone. I'll manage. I've managed alone for a while now it'll be no different. I'll go back to old habits and mess up my life again but I'll manage, I'll be okay, I always am anyway. I'll be fine. I'll be okay blah, blah, blah same old, same old.