Slurping on my hot tea as I scroll through Instagram, I see the one and only.. shrek.
He looks so fit.
Maybe I should meet him again?
"Hi you big fat sexy ogre bastard, come give me that good stuff, yeah?" I message him.
Not even a fucking second later he messages back.
"Hi sugar tits, I'll be round in a bit mush."
Butterflies.
Guess I should get ready.
Picked my outfit, I'm wearing a shrek outfit to surprise him.
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Right on time, three massive bangs on the door scare the fucking shit out of me.
Skipping down the stairs, I was too excited to look where I was stepping, and my ankle twisted sideways and caused me to fall all the way down the stairs.
Screaming as I fall down making an absolute fool of myself.
I'm seeing stars.
Everything went black.
I wake up to shrek tea bagging me, chanting " WAKE UP SUGAR TITS WAKE UP, WAKE UP SUGAR TITS WAKE UP"
His arse is on my face, I just know he's going to shit his pants.
