I was choosing between poll options the other day
The first choice, written in bold lines said: To die
The second one did not need a further emphasis on the threat it imposed:
To speak
'Tis simple, I thought-
The answer to a question that requires vulnerable honesty is always:
to remain indifferent.
Why?
So I could say " I didn't know the second choice was a toggle button"
and stare at my can of worms thinking " Okay, this is an accident."
It would be like anchoring my mistake to Pandora's. Where I could consider the ability to pursue my curiosity as adherence to my nature rather than a reflection of my desire.
I have been staring at the resulting toggle questions for two hours now, I might as well put all of them in a roulette.
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04/20/21
I did something annoyingly brave, reckless, and self-destructive last month. I realize how I have always been the type to have a hard time admitting the things I want for myself, especially those that require my own effort to procure. Although I must admit that there are instances where I find myself accomplishing stuff due to that sheer will, I have failed in more ways than I have won. This leads me to think that it is merely dumb sheer luck that has taken me this far- a continuous ripple of life-changing accidents.
