ℝ𝔼𝔻 𝕍𝔼𝕃𝕍𝔼𝕋

Dedicated to _mimz_25

CASAGRANDE xPOV°

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Waking up alone every morning creeps the shit out of me,it feels like I'm in a freaking cage without oxygen. And that makes me feel so lonely and suffocated.

I've been suffering from depression ever since I was ten due to all the traumatic events life decided to throw at me.

Days I get to sleep are my luckiest, since nightmares have become my best friend. "you should go seek help" that all I ever got from whoever I ever told this to. My life is basically a pile of bullshit.

I live in fear of falling asleep one day and never waking up, but that only me whining you know.

I have everything I could possible imagine right here with me ,food ,clothes, TV and so many more, but the only thing I want actually need seems to be impossible to get and out of my reach.

All I want is a little happiness.I don't want to live the same life as did my sister.

Everytime I think of her It pains me to see how she is living a life where she was forced into marrying the person our parents chose for her.

But I stopped feeling sorry for her, because I hadn't realised how fast time had passed before it was my turn to go through the same shit.

The only difference been with my story is that I am living with a ruthless mafia boss who probably doesn't even know how I look like, a guy who have never said my name not even once.

I really wonder why he even agreed to this so called marriage and why I'm still here, but like mama always say "as long as you have food on the table and a shelter then don't mind about anything else just accept the offer". To think I thought she said that because she loves me.

These are thought that haunt me everyday and thought that are making me cry right now, but I'm strong so I won't give the world a reaction.

Now tired from all these thoughts I lay down on the couch like I do everyday the whole day.I don't watch any TV shows because I never really was a TV fan from a young age.

Ain't like most children, I was grateful for school, it kept me going. I enjoyed studying the most and it always paid off, always first in your school does bring some joy, especially when you get scholarship to your dream university.

I was so proud of myself, but all was for nothing as I'm now a pathetic douche bag who doesn't do anything nor go anywhere,apparently for her own safety.

At this moment I wish I was truly dead.

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"Who's there?"

A soft knock on my door snaps me out of my half sleep and half thought.

"Ummm.....it's Alex, may I come in?"

No you may not, that exactly what I want to say, but that would be rude like mama always told us.

"Come in." I huff in annoyance as I wait impatiently for him to tell me what he wants so he'd leave me alone "Ma'am the door is locked .."

Damn it. I just realised I haven't stepped out of my room for nearly a century, I have a fridge and a kitchen here including a bathroom with a freaking toilet and gigantic walk in closet. So what thou I seek outside this room, for I have no friends out there.