when you met me

blurry

Blurry

The next 93 seconds were in slow motion for Dud. He scrambled past the Officer, whose jaw was dropped, tuning out all the shouts of horror around him. He pushed himself into the bars, exactly on the other side of where Mara had stood less than a minute ago.

He heard the splash. He couldn't see her. "I can't see her." He tried to say, but it didn't come out. Because really and truly, he knew he never would again. He bent over the railing, staring into the grey waters for an impossible sign. 

"I can't see her." He said again, leaning further over the bars. An officer pulled him away, afraid he was another jumper, "It's alright, son." The officer said.

"I cant't see her!" Dud shouted, pushing the officer back and standing idly for a moment.

Falling to his knees, he used what little strength he had to turn around and sit against the railing. Shock plastered his paling face. He had just witnessed his best friend's death. Well, no... But it was close enough. The tightness in his chest led to his stomach, and soon enough he was paralyzed. Dud sat motionless, thinking only three words, EVERYTHING CHANGES, BUT-

Like a broken record, those three words, that incomplete sentence played over in his head. As people tried to stand him up, but he refused to move. As someone tried to talk to him, but he was mute. For two hours, until he finally finished his sentence. SO DID WE.

That's when he finally cracked. Dud stopped being paralyzed and started to weep. His knees came up to his chest and he was undone. A car door flew open, and Mara's 'parents' came running out. Dud heard Mrs. Turner gasp, already crying.

Both of them walked up to Dud, kneeling down. Dud ignored them. "I can't believe-" She paused and started to cry again. Mr. Turner added, "Why would she do this?" He asked in his pompous voice. Dud wiped his nose and finally spoke. "Because you weren't there for her. None of us were." He said roughly, and unsteadily, he stood up, numb.

Then, Mara's friends showed up. Dud looked at them standing there, unsure of how to act, red eyed and exhausted. Suddenly, the girl he still recognized as Beth came up and hugged him, softly crying into his shoulder. Dud clasped onto the almost stranger, sobbing into her shiny blonde hair, not caring anymore.

After a few minutes, Cole came up to him, and awkwardly handed him a piece of paper. "This was on the fridge. It was for you." He cleared his throat and continued to desperately try not to cry. Dud parted from Beth and looked down at the folded paper.

This poem always reminded me of Dud, and until now, I didn't know why.

 

Remember me when I am gone away,

Gone far away into the silent land;

When you can no more hold me by the hand,

Nor I half turn to go, yet turning stay.

Remember me when no more day by day

You tell me of our future that you plann'd:

Only remember me; you understand

It will be late to counsel then or pray.

Yet if you should forget me for a while

And afterwards remember, do not grieve:

For if the darkness and corruption leave

A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,

Better by far you should forget and smile

Than that you should remember and be sad.