One Step at a Time

Mourning

I woke up sweating. I had the same nightmare again. I watched from the woods and I saw my parent's car flip over and roll six times. I would run to their car screaming but each time, I watched them die as the car went up in flames, as they were trapped inside. It was a never ending warp of this nightmare.

I hugged my knees to my chest and cried my eyes out. I looked over to my nightstand to see their picture, which only caused me to cry harder. After wiping the tears from my face, I looked at the clock. It showed that it was only 2:30 in the morning. I groaned and got up to go downstairs and make a cup of coffee. There was no way I was going to close my eyes again tonight.

A small frown appeared on my face as I looked around the kitchen and saw the boxes all over. I was moving around noon today and it was bittersweet but, I needed to get away from Washington. I needed a fresh start. I couldn't stand going into town and everyone giving me looks of pity and sorrow. I had dealt with it for months, and that was far too long. Yet, a small part of me was going to miss it here. I had grown up in this house and it had so many great memories of my parents and all the fun times we had together.

It was a nice sized house for a small family. It had two bedrooms and two and a half bathrooms. The garage had just enough space for my mother's Range Rover before it was destroyed, and my father's Mustang, leaving me to park in the driveway. The living room was spacious with a fireplace and an open floor plan which led to the kitchen. The kitchen had slightly dated appliances, a nice stone counter top with an island center and white tile lining the floor. The dining room was my mom's favorite place in the whole house. It had wood floors, with a long glass table with wooden accents big enough for 6 people. She would spend hours cooking just for the three of us to sit at that dining room table and have a family dinner.

As I walked around the house I slowly slid my fingers across the banister my father and I had slid down every Christmas morning. He would always wake me up at 8 in the morning. Christmas was the only day of the year where I was a morning person. Mom would always yell at us that it was too early in the morning to break something, but she would laugh at us when we almost landed on our faces. We would all open our presents and then sit by the fireplace and watch Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer while we drank peppermint hot chocolate.

I smiled softly at the memory as a tear slid down my face before I walked back upstairs and began to finish packing my room. It was the only room in my house that was left unpacked. I even had my parent's room packed. I donated their clothes to charity but kept a few of my favorite ones. I had sold their furniture and put all their memorabilia in boxes. Thinking about it made me choke up. So, I grabbed my picture of them and hugged it to my chest as I lay down in my bed. I missed them so much. Nothing is ever going to fill the void; I will never be the same.

I woke up to the sound of a large truck pulling up. Fuck, I guess I fell asleep. At least it was a dreamless sleep. I got up and took a quick shower. I then quickly changed into my dark skinny jeans, soft maroon colored sweatshirt, and my combat boots. I quickly ran my fingers through my hair but decided to keep it down. Then I ran downstairs to greet the movers at the door.

"Hey, thank you guys so much for coming. I was just wondering if you guy could start downstairs because I have a few things left to pack upstairs." I sheepishly smiled and shrugged my shoulders.

The largest of the four guys spoke up "Sure ma'am. We don't mind. We just need you to fill out some minor paperwork." The rest of the guys nodded their heads to me before they started moving the furniture in the living room.

I grabbed the paperwork from the large guy. He was a tall man. He was maybe in his mid-twenties and he was cute. He had gorgeous green eyes and jet black hair. I filled out the destination: Aken, Montana. I also filled out their arrival time and signed the paperwork before going upstairs.

Once in my room I closed the door and I pulled my remaining clothes into my suit case along with bathroom necessities. I shoved my laptop, its charger, my cellphone charger, and my wallet into a backpack. I packed my fragile memorabilia into a small box that would be traveling with me in my car. I grabbed my picture frame that held the last picture taken of my parents and sat on my bed.

I looked down at this picture of my parents. It was the day I graduated from high school. We went out for dinner at some fancy restaurant after and they were so happy I couldn't help but take a photo of them. They were laughing at something my father had said.

People always said that I looked exactly like my mother. We both had long radiant red hair, a porcelain complexion, peppered with freckles. She had beautiful green eyes. They were as bright as an emerald. She was the sweetest person you'd ever meet and her voice was smooth like honey. She was my best friend and was there with me through everything.

I felt the prick of tears as they came falling down my face. I caressed my mother's face on the picture and began to focus more on my father.

My father, oh, my father. He was a strong willed man. I had his almond shaped, chocolate brown eyes. He had jet black hair that he always kept freshly cut. He was in the military and had never grown out of his ways, even if he was retired. He was a hard-ass on the outside, but my mother had the key to that lock, she made him melt. I looked at how his eyes met hers in the picture and I smiled. They loved each other so much. I want a love like that. I hugged the photo to my chest and laid there for a little while longer.

When I got out of bed I sat at my vanity table, looking in the mirror. I ran a hand through my red hair. I looked at my chocolate brown eyes. I had my mother's soft face and my father's nose. My mouth was small like my mothers, but my lips were full like my fathers. I had my mother's curves. I had my father's long legs, though I was short like my mother. I decided that I had a good mixture of them both and that they would live on through me, they had to.

After I finished packing all my other items I brought down the items I'd take with me to my car. I looked back at my home and a sad smile appeared on my face. I had grown up here. And without my parents this house doesn't feel like home anymore. I knew that if I stayed the memories would just haunt me and they would drive me crazy.

I went inside and told the movers that I was finished with my room and they were free to move that stuff into the truck. They finished quickly with the upstairs and we're ready to start the drive to Aken, Montana.

Just as I was locking up my best friend Amiee walked up the front porch steps. She looked at me with sad, pity filled, eyes and I couldn't help but get mad.

"Are you really leaving?" She managed to croak out. I nodded. "Why do you have to go?" She looked at me with tears in her eyes now.

"Because I'm tired of everyone looking at me like that! I'm tired of not sleeping because I hear them calling my name in the middle of the night. I'm tired of coming downstairs in the morning expecting to see my mom cooking pancakes and my dad watching the morning news. These memories I will cherish forever, but they're haunting me in this house! I need a fresh start!" I cried out to her, with my voice raised a little too high.

"I'm so sorry Dani. What are you going to do with the house? And never forget that I will always be here for you, even if we drift apart." She put her hand on my arm. I knew that she was being honest. She was my best friend, but I wanted to push everyone away, so I shrugged her hand off. I needed space. I needed a fresh start for me.

"I've actually already sold the house." I stepped out of the way of the small sign the realtor company finally talked me into putting up. "And thank you. I know that you will always be here for me, but there are too many memories here for me. I have to go." I frowned. I didn't expect this. I was never good at goodbyes.

"Well I wish you good luck where ever you're going." She hugged me tightly and I hugged her back.

We stayed like that for a few minutes. We both knew this was the last time we were going to see each other. After we separated, I got into my black 2015 Scion FR-S. I loved this car. It was what my parents bought me for graduating in May. I waved goodbye to Amiee. I started the engine and decided to drive for a while before stopping for lunch. No matter how hungry I was, I wanted to get out of this town more.