The Galaxy is Endless (I thought we were, too)

Chapter 20

"Kenma." Akaashi's voice carried more emotion than Kenma had ever heard. "Oh god Kenma, I'm sorry." He'd repeated different variations of that since he and Bokuto had found him curled up on the hospital floor three hours ago, not once did the words soothe his pain.

They were currently seated in the corridor of the hospital, their backs against the wall. Kenma was sandwiched between Bokuto and Akaashi, one of them on each side, as though they could shield him from what had happened.

To his left, Bokuto was sobbing into his knees, arms wrapped around himself in comfort. And to his right, Akaashi, eyes rimmed red as though he had already cried, attempting to comfort them both.

The three of them sat in silence for a bit more after that, no words possible to ease the pain.

Every time Kenma's grief subsided, he thought of Kuroo, and instantly another wave rushed over him, renewing his sobs with even more vigour than before. "I loved him. I didn't want to say goodbye," he whimpered, burying his face in his hands. His words caused Bokuto to cry even louder than before, Akaashi sniffling beside him.

The grief he was feeling was insurmountable, he didn't even know how to carry it without breaking his back.

His thoughts were spinning in his head, a jumbled, incoherent mess. He wasn't sure if he was sad, angry, or whatever emotion fell in between.

"He's not in pain any more," Akaashi whispered, a feeble attempt to try and find any reprieve for the three of them.

Kenma sobbed again. "He shouldn't have been in pain in the first place."

The universe could have picked anybody else, why did it have to be his Kuroo? Why did it have to take the person with the biggest heart and brightest smile to inflict its darkness on?

A newfound rage filled Kenma's hollowness as he shakily stood to his feet. He didn't want to be in this hospital any more, it was too painful; suffocating him. It reminded him too much of what had happened, he wanted to think of Kuroo as the person he'd been without the confines of this horrible place; the Kuroo that Kuroo would want to be remembered as.

"Kenma? Where are you going?" Akaashi looked up at him, eyes wide as though he was worried Kenma was about to do something outrageous.

He sniffled before speaking, trying to clear his throat. "I need to get out of here." His voice was frail and raspy; a side effect of all the screaming and crying he'd done in the last four hours that had felt like a cruel, cruel eternity.

Akaashi nodded, sliding over to press his body against Bokuto's where Kenma had just been. "Don't go too far without us. We'll um, sort out the paperwork."

Kenma didn't have time to appreciate the lengths Akaashi was willing to go to for him. "Thank you," he said, turning his back on him. He wiped his eyes as he walked, then jogged, and finally sprinted out of the hospital's revolving doors, away from the place that had taken Kuroo away from him.

The cold night air burned his exhausted lungs, but he didn't let that stop him. He pushed his legs as fast as they would go, the wind wiping his tears away. He didn't stop until he reached the park down the block; the same one he'd once watched the stars with Kuroo at all those weeks ago.

He stopped in the middle, hands clutching his sides as he attempted to catch his breath.

Kenma lifted his eyes to meet the clear night sky, hundreds of twinkling stars staring down back at him like soft diamonds in the sky; the same ones that Kenma had always seen in Kuroo's eyes.

His bottom lip quivered as his body once again became overwhelmed with the shock of his loss, and he collapsed onto the grass, eyes not once leaving the stars that they'd once watched together; the stars that Kuroo had taught him to love.

Kenma lay on the grass, sobbing his eyes out to an audience of stars that offered him a cold comfort. He wanted to scream at them, ask why they'd taken Kuroo away, beg for them to take him instead.

The brief hope crossed Kenma's mind, that maybe, just maybe, Kuroo was among the stars in the sky now.