The Dropout(s)

November 16th, 2019

Do Not Wait - Wallows

"You're not into this." The boys paused, separating their lips. The two had been together for a year and a half but nothing seemed to change. Rocky's addiction was getting worse, Oliver wasn't sure how much more he could take. "What's wrong?"

Oliver looked up at his boyfriend through his thick glasses. Blue eyes met brown as he thought of his reply. "Nothing" was all that came out. "I'm sorry, just tired I guess."

Frustrated, the brown-eyed boy stood up, getting off of his partner. Black curls bounced as he huffed his way over to the brown dresser. Opening the drawer, shuffling through its contents. "I don't know what you want from me, Ollie. I took a break, I haven't smoked in months. I do those fucking piss tests and I take those bullshit meds."

The other boy tensed as his partner vented. He sounded so... angry. "Rocky-"

"No. Enough. I bust my ass to be this perfect boyfriend for you," pale hands pulled out a lighter and a pack of Camels, "and for what? Another lousy fucking date? Three minutes of kissing? We didn't fuck until a week ago Ollie, I'm a rockstar for shit's sake I could be going out nightly." The blonde pulled his knees to his chest, as though to protect himself from the harsh words. "You think I want this? To be treated like some fixer-upper?"

"Don't do this again" Oliver whispered, mostly to himself. He knew better than to beg, it wouldn't do anything. There was already a lit cigarette in the boy's mouth, smoke spilling from his lips.

"I mean, first the shit about becoming an actor and now this? You're a merch designer Oliver not Tom fucking Holland. I mean come on, a quiet shrimp like you in the spotlight? You won't even come on stage with me for a song." Rocky shook his head and began to pace the hotel room. "I wrote a song for you and you refused to come up to hear it. You want to be some big shot actor but you freak when we get asked to do an interview together, to go out in public without disguises."

Oliver sat up, "it's not the same-"

"Bullshit. You can't handle a famous boyfriend, how the fuck are you going to handle being famous yourself? You don't know what it's like Oliver, you have no clue what you'd be getting yourself into. I'm trying to help you."

It was Oliver's turn to stand and scold, making direct eye contact and refusing to back down despite the height difference. "I've done everything for you. I support you through thick and thin. Do you think it's hard being famous? You wanna smoke all day and drink all night? Are you tired of the pressure? Then why do you do it? Why do you continue to put yourself through this? Bitch and moan all you want Rocky, I'm not going with it this time. I'm tired of agreeing with you just to keep the peace. Take yourself down but don't drag me with you."

The two were now toe-to-toe, secondhand smoke entering Oliver's lungs as the taller boy chuckled. "For a wannabe actor, you're shit at committing to the role. You wanna play Mr. Perfect? You wanna be the ideal boyfriend? Save me, Ollie! Fix me! I'm broken!" A moment to inhale and exhale more nicotine "wheres this coming from anyway huh? You're all insecure cause you finally let me see you naked? All freaked because after all this time you finally gave in?"

"Dean."

"...Pardon?"

"I was saving myself for you, and you settled for Dean. We took a week-long break and you..." a smile took over Rocky's lips.

"So that's what this is about? Cause I'm not a prude, saving myself for you? This isn't some fuckin Hallmark movie, what did you expect?" Oliver stepped away, walking back to the bed. He sat on the edge of it, thinking for a moment. Rocky let him, finishing his cigarette as the boy processed.

Finally, he spoke, "do you love me?"

Taken aback, Rocky took out the cancer stick and put it on the dresser. "What?"

"It's an easy question. Do you love me?" The blue eyes searched brown seas for an answer. There was nothing to find, just shock. "I know I'd do anything for you." He waited a bit longer but Rocky stayed quiet. "But I have to take care of myself right? I'm in love with you, but I don't think I love you. This isn't who I thought you were you know? I love the boy with big dreams and a kind heart. You... you're just a shadow." The dark-haired boy slowly started to move. He was packing, putting everything into his suitcase. "What are you doing? There's a show tomorrow night-"

"I don't love you." He spat. This threw Oliver off, he thought it might be true but he didn't expect to actually hear it. "Never did, you're just another face in the crowd." Silence.

He finished packing and opened the door, looking back at his boyfriend. "Where are you going?" The blonde asked quietly. He didn't get a reply, not even a shrug. There was just a slam of the door and a quiet room. Tears started to flow, his chest burned and nausea filled his throat. It's like his body knew what was going to happen before his brain could process it. Rocky was going away for a long time.