A Year Without You

Chapter One

Maya's Pov

One Year. A whole year has passed since what felt like my whole world crumbled in front of me. Carina had gone back to Italy to help with the pandemic she says she felt called to go, but we both knew that it was because the month before she left, we found out her Visa was expiring, and she would have no choice unless she went on her own. Just after a day like today I wished she were here with me I unlock the door to my apartment and am met once again with still silence where a year ago I would come home to the women I loved in her sweats or one of my oversize t-shirts that I would sleep in just gotten off her shift and the sound of old school Italian music playing softly over the speakers. One night I remember coming home from a shift a found Carina dancing to herself to this song she had playing and I was so mesmerized by her that I just focused on her tuning out the music all together, I rub my eyes snapping myself out of the memory I walk into the kitchen and grab a beer sitting on the stool at the island in the middle off the kitchen and hide my face in my hands as I lean against the counter. I miss Carina like crazy we only though this would be for a few months and things would go back to normal but then after a few months turned into a year Carina and I both realized that life as we had known it was over.

I down a few beers as I watch The Seattle Kraken and Chicago Blackhawks game and just try to put the day behind me. The day started out pretty ok Vic and Travis being their usual goofy ass selves Vic giving Travis hell over still not asking Emmett out which we are all still taking beats on how long he is going to take, Me, Miller and Vic are all still in the running Andy, Jack and Robert gave up a long time ago. But then we got called to an apartment complex fire and when we go there it was a fucking nightmare how it wasn't considered all hands-on deck is beyond me. We began to get things under control when a girl from the crowd tried to get past me " Miss you can't go in there" I said holding her back she began to plead with me " I got to get back in there my girlfriends in there" soon as I heard that my mind went right to Carina this girl was basically me I would literally run through fire for Carina " Hey hey what's your name" I said managing to get her to stay put " my name is Becca" she looks at me trying to calm herself down as I try to keep my eye contact with her. "Ok Becca, my name is Captain Bishop, but you can call me Maya ok? Listen I know you want to charge in there believe me I do, if it were my own girlfriend, I would be the same way so I promise you we will do everything in our power to get your girlfriend out safely. So, I need you to stay put ok?" She nods sniffling from being upset. I get her to take a few deep breaths "Now what's you girlfriends name?" Becca takes a deep breath "Chloe her names Chloe Wilson" I nod and grab my radio and tell the team to look out for the girl.

I am snapped out of my thought when my phone goes off with a loud ding from a text from Andy wanting to see if I was going to come out to Millers houseboat for a small party, they knew it had been rough for me this last year with Carina gone and she made them all swear to keep an eye on me and not let me be alone to long, cause lets face it no one ever really should be alone to long pandemic or no pandemic. I pick up my phone and answer Andy I tell her that I'm alright and that I am wiped out from today and just want to take a shower then head to bed. I put my phone down on the end table and stretch feeling every joint in my body pop I had been working none stop these past few months mostly to try to keep myself distracted and the fact that I haven't had sex in a year which is frustrating as all hell. Then the rare times I get to talk to Carina on Zoom is few and far between cause of the time differences and the fact that she is always busy over there. The bottom line of it all is that this past year like I said has been a fucking nightmare and just I miss my girlfriend I want her back here with me in our home like it should be, I stand up and go over to the punching bag I start yelling beating the hell out of the bag getting out my frustration that is making my brain burn. All I see is just memories of me and Carina flashing in my head, I keep hitting the bag tears running down my face with every hit now. I give the bag one final blow before I bend over with my hands on my knees panting. I turn on the shower letting the hot water wash the day off me I just stand under the water thinking about the rest of what happened today.

"Guys keep your eyes out for a girl early twenties answers to the name of Chloe" I say into my radio " Copy that captain" Andy say response over the radio a good thirty minute passes and I do a radio check with the team everyone responds and I ask if anyone has found the girl when suddenly Becca runs past me and I go after her, I grab her by the waist " No let me go" she yells pleading again and soon as she does that there is an explosion on the top floor. I radio in still holding Becca back "Is everyone ok can anyone read me over" I breathe a sigh of relief when everyone checks in and they are ok. Next thing I hear is Jack yell "I need a gurney over here!" I look seeing him carrying a red headed young woman and I feel Becca get out of my grip running towards them "Chloe!" I hear her yell. I see her run full sprint over towards the Aid Car and all I can do is watch as they get them loaded up and off to Grey-Sloan. We manage to get the fire under control and head back to the station.

I finish my shower and walk into my bedroom only thing I ever do in here anymore is shower and get dressed, I haven't slept in my bed ever since Carina left, I mean I tried but waking up without her next to me every morning just made me sad and it felt like my heart was being crushed over and over. I just every time I walk in here all I see is Carina in one of my shirts sitting in bed with her glasses on reading a book on something about either art or some other things that I swear make her even smarter than me. Not that I'm not smart in my own right just Carina always liked to learn and then she would make me laugh with how excited she would be talking about the topic she was read up on. I laugh to myself about it, I get dressed and head back into the living room to the couch. I plug in my phone and lay down once again staring up at the ceiling as I feel sleep slowly take me and I welcome it because now the only place I see the love of my life is in my dreams silently hoping that one day that it won't be this way anymore.