Jaan

Part 10- What Is Love?

Aslan's POV.

I can't wait anymore. I want her to be mine. I want her to be my girlfriend. I just want to let her and the world know that I like her.

It's killing me because I can't seem to find the right way or the right time to express my feelings to her.

And lately, she has been avoiding me. I don't know where I went wrong. I mean I know what Zahara did was out of line. I don't know why she did that.

At first, I didn't mind her attitude towards Adalina because I was also being mean and rude towards her but now it's different.

She's the girl I like. I don't want anyone to hurt her in any way possible. She's precious to me.

I hope Adalina is not upset because of that. I hope she doesn't think I have something to do with it. Because I don't at all.

I was at the bar room, in the institute. I don't usually drink but today, I just felt like it because I keep thinking of my mom somehow.

I was at my second bottle when Miran joined me.

"Hey bro" he said.

"Hey" I replied.

"Why are you drinking so much? We still have school tomorrow you know that right?" he asked.

"I know.." I said pouring some more in the glass.

"Bro, what's wrong? You look a bit down?" he commented.

"If I tell you something...can you keep it to yourself?" I asked him.

"Of course, trust me" he said.

"There's this girl I like a lot and...I just feel like shit when she's around" I told him honestly.

"You feel like shit but you like her? I don't get it" he said.

"She's perfect to my eyes, she's nice, kind hearted and beautiful...I'm sure she never hurt anyone purposely in her life" I said.

"Okay.." he was listening carefully.

"But me on the other side, I'm no worthy of even falling for her..I drink, I kill people, I hate people, I fight and..I'm in the mafia you know..it just sucks because I'm afraid she finds out and never looks at me again" I said.

At this point, I was getting a bit drunk.

"Bro...it's okay" he said.

I could read through him perfectly. He knows exactly what I'm talking about and what I'm feeling.

"It's honesty not okay..For the first time in my life..I don't feel like being the bad guy anymore and I don't want her to ever know about who I really am" I told him.

It was silent after that. Actually, Miran grabbed himself a glass as well, poured some beer and drank with me. I'm glad he just listened to me.

I know he'll never tell anyone. He's the one friend I can trust the most. I wish I could be like him sometimes. He's always positive and he actually has a sense of feeling when he wants to.

Compared to me, I don't know how to feel. I don't know how to control my feelings at all.

And I always end up doing things I regret.

***

Adalina's POV.

I woke up this morning my head pounding. I barely slept. The whole night, I was thinking about Aslan. I was trying to figure if I'm completely lost or if I'm actually going insane after him.