My demons

Am I in pain ?

or is it just sorrow and sadness

that is making me delusional

blurring the lines between grief and wounds ?

Are my tears real ?

fallen due to sheer agony in my body

is it in my control or like everything else

its slipping beneath my fingers too ?

Am I closing my eyes 

because I want to fall asleep

or is it because it is so dark that

it doesn't matter whether my eyes are closed or apart ?

Am I really breathing to live the next moment

or am I actually just breathing

waiting for the day

when this task won't be mine to do anymore ?

Are my demons really surfacing 

pulling me down as they come up

or have they been there forever

and I am already there .. too deep too far,    

                                                                      to ever come back