I am currently high and listening to Stay High by Jarad Anthony Higgins a.k.a. Juice WRLD. I have been on a journey all through my Indian life to work on how effectively I command the English alphabet. I thought I would start writing in an attempt to vent. This can also be considered as a check to how many times I bust a solo cloud! I just switched to Fighting Demons by Juice, but I'm listening to this song for the first time! In fact, it is a great track and sometimes I wish Juice should not have left so soon. The most he could have done was some time, probably probation but I do not think OD was the way to go. I hear him when he says "Drugs killing me softly Lauren Hill, sometimes I don't know how to feel!". I relate to not wanting to be alive sometimes, but I really want to live at all the other times. Let us face it, I have not been the best version of myself always, but so has not Marshall Mathers, or as you may know him, EMINEM! I relate to another idol, Bob Marley. Why? Hear me out.
In an interview, Bob was asked, "Are you rich?" to which he responded with, "What is being rich?". The interviewer, in an attempt to paraphrase, "Do you have a lot of money?". Bob returned a question, "How much money is a lot of money?". I mean the-fuck? That level of peace in a person's words? Saintly!
People often take Bob Marley as the idol to smoke up to, but only a handful know that he started smoking marijuana in an attempt to cure his cancer, to which he sadly lost his life.
I listen to a lot of tracks from Eminem, like he has been my idol since I was 11 years old. Life has been a blessing and a curse in disguise. The story of my life would probably be called "Can't complain but I can!". Lately, I have been feeling quite agitated and at unrest, but Juice WRLD's songs make me feel so right. Meanwhile, I relate to the angry man in Eminem who is like, "Man what the fuck?! Do not be spineless! Grow a pair!". Now, how am I supposed to look at all the idiots I come across every day who try to beef with me? I am not one to start the flame, but I might as well burn the house down if push comes to shove. I barely am in my twenties, yet I feel like a 40 year old sometimes, looking at all these adults behave like puny motherfucking infants, no offense!
I was vibing to my verse right now:
"Can't freestyle, I can't
I practiced my hand
At rapping with rappers I jam
This is the point I began
One day I'll get my own lam!"
This is just an attempt to come out and write something that some of you might relate to. I hate reading but I like writing, that is a very typical love-hate relationship because without the sun, there is no moon! Help me out here, or don't! I do not know where am I headed. A few months ago, I was completing a coding course. Switched to teaching the coding basics to kids across the world for a few months. Now, I am completing another course related to coding. All this is fun but then I need to know where to go next. I am heading to another country for my Masters but I really want to go right now. I cannot wait to leave my house because I feel claustrophobic here. I feel like I am not able to be my best self when I am at home and that this, is not my niche! I would really like to travel often. I look forward to all kinds of trips, so much so, that I end up smoking! What a fuck-ol thing it is to grow up and to see the world for what it is.
