Underside

Part 1: Violent Assassins - Chapter 4: Mastermind

"How come that was so easy?" I ask Kivren after we've stopped near a copse of concealing trees. "How come we can get away that smoothly and never tried it before?" 

"They messed with our minds, through the little chip in our arms. They told us that we couldn't escape, and that we shouldn't want to. But there was a radioactive effect on the building last night, so while all of us were shut down and dreaming happy things the radiation crept in and destroyed the smaller computers, including our chips. They're not totally gone, and we might still have some of the radiation around our bodies, but for now we're free. Unless they find a way to get backup information or send a healing virus out to all of us." Kivren looks at me seriously the whole time he's speaking, and I watch his eyes boring into mine.  

"How do you know this?"  

"There's something they don't know about me. I can just tell when things happen, and I never said anything about it, so now only you and I know. I bet you have an ability too." 

"Okay, that's cool." I say. After all, the guy just spilled his big secret to me, and I can't tell him mine. Although I don't think I have one. I don't think, I know. 

I decide not to mention the radiation, or the fact that we are escaping. I just smile up at the drab sky and start walking. Where do I think I'm going? Maybe I'm walking to heaven, or hell. Maybe I'll end up in the Great Perhaps of Francois Rabelais, of death. 

Kivren starts follows me, or I lead him. He doesn't seem to have expected a reaction to his secret, and I gave none. Slowly, we both walk off into the darkness of the sinking night.

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We think our troubles are over, since we've escaped so easily. We couldn't be more wrong. 

Once the light of the overhead moon and stars becomes too faint for us to make our way through the thickening forest we stop and climb up into the trees. Relying on our temperature regulated jumpsuits we bid each other goodnight then turn restlessly in the sparse leaves. We have never slept without the help of shutting down before. 

"Kivren? I can't sleep." I say quietly. 

"Well I'm not your mommy who's going to comfort you on the dangers and challenges of the world, you're going to have to figure that out yourself." he retorts, then amends at my silence. "I'm just joking. I can't sleep either." 

A bird-probably a raven-calls through the night. The sound is fast and harsh, and I respond by howling a long mournful howl, my voice carrying up into the breeze. 

Swooping coal black wings land on a branch next to my head. The raven looks at me with dark beady eyes and caws. 

The bird is small for it's breed with a wingspan of two feet. I slowly reach a hand out to it, and it bobs it's head forward, as if allowing me to touch it. The glossy black feathers shimmer like spilt oil over my fingers, and I marvel at the hidden beauty inside it's crow-like demeanor. 

"The Wolf is affable with the crows!" Kivren exclaims out of the darkness. The raven caws, alarmed, then launches back off into the trees and disappears. 

"Ugh, shut up! You scared it away! And it's a raven."  

"Sorry, I didn't mean to." he smiles. I look in his direction to see him propped up, watching me with an animated gleam in his eyes. 

I scowl at him one last time then toss my hair behind me and turn away, resting my cheek on my hand. Against the rough bark of the tree, just laying there and looking into endless dry branches and darkness, I feel a sort of warmth spreading inside me up through my body and lifting me to the sky.

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The warmth soon morphs to real sunlight on my face. Squinting into the glare of the morning sun I turn carefully, not wanting to lose my balance on the tree branches. Kivren is not in his tree, but down on the ground messing with the dirt. 

"Being a little boy again?" I tease at him.  

"No. I'm trying something." he replies seamlessly, not even startled at my awakening. 

"Christ, I hate your guts. For no reason." I mutter, then land silently on my feet beside him. Kivren quickly brushes a hand over what he's been doing, ruining it with a powdering of fine dust.  

"That's a secret," he admonishes and flicks me on the shoulder for trying to look at what he'd been doing. 

"Okay . . . well . . . fine, drop it, let's race instead!" I yell as I take off into the woods faster and more agile than a gazelle. When I look back I see that he's right on my heels, and I give a shriek and spur myself to go faster. 

Out of the sky dives the raven, cawing it's head off and landing to perch on my shoulder. And I'm still running. 

Small sharp claws dig into my arm, holding tightly as I dodge and leap over branches and roots. 

What would happen if I went back to Kandu? Would they notice me? Recognize the tell-tale Wolf tattoo between my shoulder blades? Can I even go back without living in constant hiding? If someone found me I would never escape again; the Enforcers would kill me. 

No one stands a chance against the powerful weapons the Enforcers harbor. I, the one with the best survival skills in all of Kandu, would be a moth fluttering around a flame, waiting to be smashed mercilessly. 

Undoubtedly I wouldn't miss life, but no one wants to die and leave forever.  

I soon forget to run, and slow to a thoughtful amble across the gnarled roots protruding from the ground. Winter is setting in, and a slight mist falling over the dry leaves and brittle, snapping branches.  

Kivren flies past me then seems to stop mid-air when he realizes I'm behind him, walking slowly. I must look like a ghost, drifting through the forest with a raven on my shoulder, staring off into an abyss of the mind. 

Why do I live when those I have killed do not?  

I'm digging my own grave. 

The descent into the falling swirl of madness lays before my feet, and one more step will send me down into insanity. Dare I take that step?