Hi again so only few people can make me smile like a boy named josh or my best guy friend Sheldon or my Friend Cameron or someone I call water, not many girls make me smile im not a slut, girls hurt me the way guys don't they are nicer and a lot less drama. My family doesn't know I have depression I hide it behind a smile I fool my friends with my smile. Some night I feel like cutting and I stay up all night. I'm no atten on whore or anything this is the real fucking me. I have been depressed for two years. My friends hurt me and they don't even know. I sometimes slam my fists into my wall. I hide all my depressing thoughts but sometime they get to strong for me to handle and I feel like I want to cry. I want to die but I can't my friends already hate me but I know I can't it's the same thing with cutting I just can't bring myself to it. I think about cutting all the time. No one knows I want to cut no one knows I want to die. I have been called emo,dumb,slut, I "look" anorexic,whore,bitch,annoying. These get to me eat out my insides they don't know they hurt me at all i hide it all behind a smile.
