Of Ashes and Embers

Leave it in the Past

I am bored out of my mind. I've been strapped to this bed for way too damn long. Days. Way too long. Apparently, they were waiting to ensure that most of the drugs left my system. I think they're trying to break me or something. I have to say, out of all the things Sportsmaster and the Shadows tried, pure boredom was not one of them. I think this would have proven to be more effective than the physical and mental torture. They unhooked the heart monitor at least, otherwise I'm sure I would have gone insane. My eyes flick to the door as Wonder Woman and Black Canary enter, one holding what looks to be an inhibitor collar. Probably a good idea, I mean, I don't blame them, I could literally kill them in at least a dozen ways with the objects in this room. Not that I would, but I could. "Let me guess," I say, "I can get out of this room if I wear the collar?" The two glance at each other, like they're talking without speaking. They probably are. "Yes," Canary answers, "we would also like to formally introduce you to the team. It's been decided for the time being that you will be a sort of probationary member." "You guys had no idea what to do with me, did you," I question. "We decided it was best to keep you close, to keep an eye on you during your rehabilitation. So, you will join the team, wear the collar to ensure the safety others, and you will also be attending counseling," Canary tells me. "And what if I don't want to do that," I retort, not enjoying the idea of the collar, team, or being treated like some Freudian dream. "You don't have a choice here," Wonder Woman responds. I sigh, refraining from rolling my eyes. It's not like there's much I can do to stop them. I have to be either in the team's base or one of the Justice Leagues. There will be too many people for me to take on my own in my current condition. Besides, the stupid crazy straps aren't off, and I doubt they plan on removing them until the collar is on. "Fine," I mutter. Canary steps forward and an involuntary shiver runs through me as the metal clicks on. She then removes the straps from my wrists. I have to hold back a flinch when she knocks against the bandaged area. I have to admit, I miss the escape from pain that drugs gave me. I'm now very aware of every healing injury. Especially the freshest ones on my back from the punishment I received just before the building burned. I follow the two powerful women, well. I follow Canary, Wonder Woman stands behind me, as if I would try to run with a collar that could shock me to death around my neck. We come to a stop in a large, open room where Aqualad and Robin are sparring in the middle. Holographic points or deductions keep flashing around them as they move. That's pretty cool. The rest of the team stands on the other side of what appears to be the sparring floor, watching the fight. "Team," Canary announces, the sparring stops, and all eyes turn on us. Great. "Meet Ember, officially." There's awkward silence. Aqualad steps forward, extending his hand, I eye it cautiously, not knowing where he stands with this hold thing. "I am Aqualad, but you can call me Kaldur. It's good to see you awake and breathing," he greets. I flinch as Wonder Woman's hand comes down on my shoulder, I wait for some sort of correction, for flinching none comes. I glance over my shoulder at her, she gives me a sort of soft smile and nods her head gently in the Atlanteans direction. I turn my gaze back to him and slowly shake the hand he offered to me. "You don't have to introduce everyone," I tell him when he opens his mouth again after the others remained still, "I know who they are. Miss Martian, Superboy, Kidflash, Robin, Zatanna, Rocket, and Artemis aka Artemis Crock. Not the most creative with names." "I still don't understand why she isn't going to Belle Rev, she's a dangerous criminal," Zatanna states, glaring at me. I narrow my eyes. I could take her, no problem."Ember deserves a second chance," Canary begins to explain, trying to put it nicely. "And she would be able to escape Belle Rev, whether alone or with Sportsmaster's help but either way it would be too dangerous to place her there," Batman's voice says from behind me. Great, just who I wanted to see. "If she's going to be on this team," he begins as he steps next to his sidekick, pulling up a holographic computer, of which contains a picture of me. A much younger me, with a black eye. I feel my body stiffen. I don't like where this is going. The Sportsmaster stuff being brought up is fine, anything before that just needs to be left to die in the past. "They are going to need to know as much as they can about her if they're to help keep her controlled and contained.""Batman is this absolutely necessary," Wonder Woman interjects from behind me. His gaze levels with me. My jaw clenches. "Yes," he responds, before turning back to mostly the team. "Demon's real name is Ember, her last name is unknown as she was left at a hospital as a newborn." I was abandoned. Not left. "In and out of foster homes and orphanages in Gotham until she was approximately six years of age. She was missing for a while until it was found she was a member in a young gang running the streets." We were hardly a gang; we were just trying to survive. "At around eight years of age she was involved in a gang fight, after which she was arrested for the murder of Teo Porras. She spent eight months in JDC, after which she was released into the custody of her attorney Alysia Lynn who was murdered shortly afterwards, and Ember went missing once again," Batman finishes. My blood feels cold and I find myself unable to look away from the ground. "You want us to help a murderer, she killed Porras and she probably killed Lynn too," Zatanna states. "We should just send her back to JDC where I'm sure they'll have a cell and a number waiting for her." "55357195," I say, barely loud enough for them to hear. "What," Zatanna asks. "My number was 55357195. I'll never forget it because that number dictated when I got to sleep or eat or feel the sun. And yeah, they'd still have a cell for me but they would not be able to keep me in it," I answer. "You're saying that you could escape," she asks, obviously doubting my abilities. "Easily," is my response, confidently. "You have committed murder though," Kidflash states, wide eyes on me, "when you were eight". "It was self-defense," I supply. "Killing is never an option," Batman says. I feel my jaw clench. It's his fault really. He SHOULD have been there. He shouldn't have been fighting his girlfriend over a fucking cat statue or whatever it was. It's his fucking fault."Ember are you alright? You're emotions just got really strong, especially anger" Miss Martians voice floats across the room. Fucking Martian. "It's your fault," I grit out, turning towards Batman, who doesn't move. "You should have been there. You could have stopped it. But no. You had to have a fucking make-out with the damn cat thief over what? A damn statue? You could have stopped the fight. You could have prevented it," my throat feels tight, and my fists are clenching together enough that I feel the comforting sting of my nails digging into my skin, drawing blood probably. "You could have saved them! You could have saved all of them! I wouldn't have had to shoot him if you were there. You were two blocks away! You had to have heard the gunfire! The fucking ambush! They ambushed us and you could have saved us!" I feel the arms wrap around me and immediately struggle as I'm lifted from the ground. It must be Wonder Woman and her super strength because I'm not going anywhere. I'm half dragged, half carried out of the room and around the corner. I can't breathe. What did I just do? Why would I do that? Oh, I'm so dead. So dead. That was fucking crazy. Why would I do that? Why did I do that? My chest is so tight. It's hard to get air. I hear someone calling my name but when I look up the world seems to have become a tilt-a-whirl. I find the wall with my back. Sharp pain flames up from the whip marks. It brings a sharp inhale. I lean forward and then hit my back against the wall again. Another inhale. Control. Again. Breathe. Again. Breathe. Control. Sportsmaster is not here. He doesn't have to know. He'll know. I hit my back again, harder this time. "Ember you have to stop," a voice commands. I do. Stop. I don't want to but a command is a command. "You're safe here, alright?" It's Canary's voice. I'm not safe. I will never be safe. And it's an odd thing to say, at least coming from her. She's the one who put the collar around my neck. "We're going to take you to your room now, Ok," she not asking me really, I know that. I jerk my head to a nod and follow her down the hallway to what's apparently my room. Canary says something about the door locking until one of the team members are up in the morning. Then the door slides shut, and I'm left alone. There's a lot of things in the room. There's a bed for starters. Like a real bed with a mattress and a comforter. I think that's what the thick blankets are called. There's a nightstand and a dresser and a rug. A lot. There's two doors besides the one I just walked into. One is open and I can see a sink so I'm gonna with a bathroom but the other? A closet maybe? Those are probably still a thing. I just sink to the ground by the door, resting my back against it. This a very big room. This is a room with a lot of stuff. I let my head fall against the door as well. I don't know why I am here. I don't know why this room is so big or why I am in it. I do know that Sportsmaster is going to be very angry with me. I know that the punishment is going to hurt. I know that the past should be left alone. And I know that I am never safe.