Good Girls Gone Bad- Luke Brooks <3

Chapter 7

After my classes finished I went to my locker staring at my books for the longest time. Trying to avoid the unavoidable, I finally decided that I should head back home. I think everyone was still in their class, but I decided it was better that way. I probably had worry written in my eyes right now. I grabbed my books, shut my locker, and sucked in an efficient amount of air. I started walking dully out of the school and directed myself towards my house, anxiously anticipating my return. Even though I had a lot of thoughts being jumbled in my head, the words of Ed Sheeran seemed to sooth me slightly. And when the song ended, there I was in front of the familiar door that I was dreading to open.
When I walked in laughter seemed to fill my ears. Confusion and curiosity guided me towards the living room where sat my mother and my father seemingly having a wonderful time. Am I still dreaming? Why on earth is my father back? Should I be delighted or scared?
When they looked at the entrance they finally noticed me. My mother's smile seemed to fade as her eyes were set on me. "Hey sweetie, how was school?" She said with an expression on her face that I could not quite comprehend. "It was fine" I answered her simply without any emotion. The tension in the room was too intense for my liking. I could see that something was going on that was not aware of. I was not ready to have 'the talk'. I do not want to go back there again. I have no idea how I will react if my father comes back. He will move in, pretend that we're a family again which is the complete opposite. He has missed so many birthdays, so many memories. He left us for another woman and another family. We weren't enough for him so why should we accept him back here? 

I could see my mother trying to break the silence but not really wanting to. And finally she broke it, "come sit down sweetie." I looked at her with disbelief. They are about to give me the talk. The one where they tell me that they have been getting back together and that he has made 'mistakes' and that the past is in the past. I cannot believe that we are about to relive what took forever to get over. I had no words. I stood still and refused to sit down.

"No, I am not having this talk. This is ridiculous" I was starting to get angry and I didn't know how to deal with it. Memories flooded my mind of when my father was here and when he disappeared. As a little girl, it was terrible having to see your own father leave you behind. But as a mother, I can imagine just how terrible it really was. My mother was devastated when my father left. It took her years before being able to smile without any sign of sadness behind her eyes. And to see her here laughing with the person who caused all this pain is unbearable. 

"Sweetie just listen and sit down please" , my mother pleaded and I felt bad that I was reacting like this. I couldn't help finding her naive for getting back into this so fast. I could not believe any of it. With a bit of annoyance I finally sat down in front of them and refused to look at them. I looked at my white converse and realized that they were very dirty. I made a mental note to myself that I should try to clean them later. Later. It was nice to think that there was a later in this case. I couldn't wait to be far away from this conversation as possible. 

"You might already have an idea what this is about. Your father and I-"

My head snapped in her direction and anger consumed my body. I couldn't help but feeling angry at her for being so stupid. Angry at my father for just coming back like he's a king coming back to his kingdom. Angry at myself for being so angry.

"you're kidding." I said still wanting to hold on to the part of me that was convincing me that it wasn't what it looked like. The memory of my father walking out the door played on replay in my mind and I needed to get away from here. From him. The last thing I wanted to do right now is to be here listening to my parents talking about our future as a beautiful united family. I need to get out.

I got up so quickly it seemed to surprise both my parents. I was walking at a fast past towards the front door so I could leave and get away from here. My mother grabbed ahold of my wrist and before she could say anything I got out of her grasp and walked faster grabbing my bag along with me. On the front porch I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Finally.

I had no idea what to do but before I knew it I started running. When I realized I was running I didn't know what I was running away from. All I knew is that I really needed to run. It seemed that help greatly. With my hair flowing in the wind I felt free and It was a feeling I have been awaiting for a while. After quite some time I spotted a cute little park and I stopped running abruptly. I walked straight for the swings and sat down. Instead of swinging myself back and forth I just stayed there. No movement coming from my body but my thoughts were spinning at a rapid pace.

Without really knowing why I started to cry. The tears that I have been holding onto since this morning seemed to flow down face and I couldn't stop them.