Never Satisfied

9. Nightwalker

                              💫

You were parking your car in front of your house. Seeing Bill at the couch, the same clothes as always, sleeping. He looked awful. You felt odd. Didn't know what to do. You didn't want to go inside. It didn't feel right either. Now you just sat in your car, which wasn't even your car.

Nothing was ever yours. You never had had anyone. No friends to share life's good and bad memories, thoughts, and things. You never had had parent, who could listen what you say, comfort you. Parent, who could give you safe home, be proud of you, and help you with your homework. You never had feel pretty much anything. No joy, no happiness. Just the endless sadness, feeling that you're lost in the dark, not ever moving forward. You never had had anything. Just struggling trough life.

Now you just wished you got someone. Someone to call. Someone to text, write about what your feeling, someone to talk. But you didn't. Home. Home you couldn't go. Not into the house in front of you. You just couldn't.

☀️Play song "When I R.I.P" by Labrinth☀️

You decided to leave the car. And start walking in your block. You took a small step forward. Trying if your feet would even work anymore. Then more steps, and you were walking down your block's street.

Then you felt one drop of water in your neck. It started raining. At first, just a little, and then it just intensified. Now it was raining hard. You didn't even see ahead of you. You didn't care. You kinda liked the rain.

You started running. Running in the thick rain. Nobody saw you. It felt so amazing. You did a few spins, and looked to the dark sky with stars. It was raining to your face. You started laughing hysterically. You were just running, felt your wet hair brushing your cheekbones, your hands foolishly hanging around of you. You haven't feel this kind of joy since kindergarten, when you went to amusement park, since your dad didn't got any money for it.

Maybe you did deserve better, just maybe. But you had to work to be happy. Running and spinning alone in rain at night, wasn't clearly happiness. You had to do something for it.

You took your phone, and checked the clock. 4.28 AM. Nice. There it ended. Your happy moment. Your school should start at 8, and it took about 45 minutes to drive to the school. You had to take a shower. Ew. You must stink. Old wet dirty clothes that had made your skin dirty too, since they were wet. You started walking to your house. It took awhile, since you had went so far away.

🌤Now put the music off🌤

When you got to the house. Bill was just sleeping again. Boring. You went to take a shower, and after that, picked light skinny jeans and a dark blue sweater with a picture about two hands touching each other with just fingertips.

You were feeling a little bit happier than normal, but you still felt this huge hole in your chest. But it was always going to be there. You knew it. For sure.

You went to look at Bill to the living room. He was on the couch, as always, but he wasn't holding a beer bottle.

Bill: Hey, what was taking so long last night?

Y/n: So you noticed. Wow. I was just with a friend.

Bill: So you have friends?

Y/n: Of course I do, dad. What did you think?

You just went to you car, and drove to your school. New day. New adventures.