Charley & Quinn [ON HOLD]

Chapter 7: Reality Slap

Charley

Quinn pulled me along to the front of the school, knowing that every single student would be in the cafeteria. Honestly, he looked shattered, as if he lost a good twelve hours of sleep. He looked abnormally skinny, his eyes drooped with drowsiness and every inch of him looked exhausted. Maybe that was just from training. Hopefully that was just from training.

His hand snaked around my arm, holding me with concern as if I'd just run away like a lost puppy. His eyes were still growing with worry, moisture building each passing second.

"I think I've given you enough time to explain, Charley, considering you missed art first period." He said firmly, avoiding all eye contact.

He doesn't even want to look at me.

There was no words that could explain, or at least inform him of Paul and what he does. There isn't enough hatred in the world to be directed at Paul. There isn't enough time in the world to be crying over Paul. But I do, and I wish I never did.

"Just tell me who he is, Charley!" Quinn shouted the last few words, clearly losing his patience.

I wanted to cover my ears and block out the painful words leaving his mouth. I wish I could make him happy, but all I do is bring more pain. More pain than needed. Quinn doesn't need me. What did he ever do to end up with me? This isn't happiness for him, it's punishment.

As much as I'd like to drown myself in sorrow, I can't. At least not right now. In this very second, in this very minute passing, I'm telling Quinn the truth. Even if it means heart break might be involved. Because as much as that's going to ache, he deserves better than what I give him. Than what I can ever give him.

"He's my step dad," I swallowed the guilt. "Paul."

Quinn stopped examining everything else around us and looked at me dead in the eyes, not moving a single step. His arm was still latched onto me, but it softened at my words. I didn't know what he thought of me anymore, which was the hardest part. I was so oblivious to what was right around the corner.

I don't want to lose him.

"I'm sorry," he managed to say as he returned his soft gaze to the ground, his arms falling beside him. If possible, he looked paler than two minutes ago.

He's sorry?

"Quinn," I hushed him softly. "You don't need to be sorry, you did absolutely nothing."

His gaze snapped up to meet mine once again, but this time his eyes were red and filling with moisture. With tears. With pain. God, how painful it was to watch him break like that, knowing the reason he's so ruined is because of me.

"Jesus, Charley, are you blind? That's the reason I'm sorry! I did nothing! I sat back and fucking watched you break into little, tiny pieces. I didn't even know, which was the worst part. I didn't even know that someone was out there hurting you. I wouldn't let a single person out there touch you, Charley, you know that. And to think I have, to think I've thrown you off of my radar and not noticed that you were hurting hurts me. It fucking hurts." Quinn's eyes were stinging with tears, which rapidly fell down his cheek.

Once he realised he was crying, he sucked in a huge gasp of air and ran both hands through his hair. He looked stressed, lost, confused, and I was all to blame.

That's when reality slapped me hard over the face.

I was either going to walk back into that school with my hands tucked in between Quinn's, or my hands resting against the pounding of fresh heart break.

I tried to say something, blink, even move. But nothing was working. My lungs were clogged with too much information to digest. Quinn's eyes stayed on mine, they burned through my soul and irritated my heart. I needed an answer as much as Quinn did, I needed to know what he wanted. Because, after all, he deserves what he wants.

"Quinn..." I managed to squeeze out his name through the gaps of air rising through my throat, but that was enough to set him on fire again.

Quinn shook his head, "You just don't get how much I love you."

I couldn't move. I couldn't look him. We were just two people staring into chipped concrete as if it held a million lies.

_______

Quinn

Her head is held low, like she's ashamed of something. Like she's ashamed of the truth.

How can she possibly be ashamed of something that wasn't her fault?

"Charley..."

Silence. Nothing. Not even a look.

Her mind is somewhere else, wandering the face of the earth, exploring it's features and crevasses, but I guess that's life. We are always searching for something, but why can't we just live?

"CHARLEY LOOK AT ME! TALK TO ME! ANYTHING! Give me anything."

She looks up at me, like I'm one of those creature in the night that your never suppose to see.

"C-Charley I'm sorr-"

"You know why I never told you? Because I was scared, Quinn. I was so afraid that the only good thing in my life would leave. I was scared that you would leave me, because who wants to stay with a girl who's as fucked up as me, right? The weird, quiet girl who's step-dad occasionally beats her, if he can fit it into his tight schedule. I'm that weird girl, IM THE ONE WHO IS SO CLOSE TO BREAKING THAT I WILL MAKE OTHERS AROUND ME CRUMBLE AS WELL!" Charley's eyes brim with tears, and at this moment, I can tell she needs me, more than yesterday, more than ever.

"I want you, Charley. I want that weird girl, I WANT THAT QUIET GIRL WHO IS CLOSE TO BREAKING! I WANT THE GIRL WHO I KNOW SAVED ME! I WANT THE GIRL WHO I KNOW I CAN PUT BACK TOGETHER! YOUR THE ONLY THING I CARE ABOUT! Your the only thing keeping me alive... You saved me as much as I'm going to save you."

The car park is quiet, and my voice, as loud as it is, feels so small, so weak. I look up at Charley, her face covered by her trembling hands. She looks so fragile, like she's about to fall away at any moment.

I stare, and stare, until I finally scream. The noise that leaves my mouth startles me, surrounding me and making me slip away. I scream, and scream, and let the pain come out. My hands push past my eyes, tightly gripping my hair, as I crouch to the ground. The balls of my feet are my only support, holding me up on my last strings.

For a while, all I hear above me is Charley, whimpering softly to herself, but i know she's there, I know her sadness and pain all to well.

For the hours it seems we stay like this, touch less and quiet, I suddenly feel a hand place on my back, and a head against mine. I know it's her, and I know she craves the love she so desperately needs. I'm going to give it to her.

Before I dare look up, I wipe my wet nose on my sleeve, getting the excess snot off my face. Charming, huh?

Before I can take action, her voice fills my ears slowly.

"Quinn, I have to go."

And just like that, she's gone.

I guess some of us are closer to breaking than others.