Straight Through My Heart (Complete)

Chapter 18 ~ Question

Alex watched the retreating back, his thoughts actually going a mile a minute. Not like they really stopped since he saw Kris. Speaking of which, what the hell was he going to tell her? He found Heaven in her arms and he wasn't sure he could let that go. But he wasn't totally positive that she would still give him the time of day now. He let out a breath, glanced to his left and took the spot that D just left. She glanced up at him.

"Kris..."

"Stuff it Alex. Right now is not the time to talk and you know it." She stood up, smoothed her shirt down and looked at him again. "But there will be a time and you better have some damn good answers, because I am so curious about everything." With that, she left the table and strolled to the restroom. He sighed, running his hand over his face.

She would be upset. Currently, everyone was. The guys were mad at him because they couldn't figure out why he cheated. That included Nick, NICK, mister sleep with everyone that he can. He also told Alex that marriage was serious. If Alex honestly loved Resa, wanted to spend the rest of his life with her, than he wouldn't have let Kris get in the picture, wouldn't have even entertained the notion of sleeping with another woman. And damnation, that man was actually right. How many times could anyone person claim that NICK was right and giving relationship advice.

Alex looked up, glanced at the remaining party and quickly stood up, stepping out onto the balcony that over looked the California coast. He took a deep breath, smelling the sea and smiling just a tad. Now would be a great time to examine why he did what he did. He loved Resa. She completed him in ways he never thought possible. She was so much like him and yet, she had her own style, her own uniqueness.

So, if he loved her, what about Kris? Alex's hands clenched the railing, his mind traveling back in time. Kris was the best friend, his...first in many ways. She was his first kiss, the first person he had ever slept with. In all truth, she was the first woman he ever saw naked. And they shared a closeness that no one would have understood. And yet, time and life had made them drift apart.

She claimed that she had loved him, that she had wanted him and only him. But he was just getting his dream together of singing and he wasn't ready to deal with a relationship. So when they parted, it wasn't on the best of terms.

Perhaps, deep within, he had to test the waters with her again. See, subconsciously or something, if she still loved him. And then what? He still wouldn't leave the woman he asked to marry him. Did he do it to see if he still had the sex appeal? He didn't need a night of sleeping with her to answer that. The screaming fans and the sexual messages he got was proof enough for him. So, again, then what?

He unclenched the railing, rubbing the back of his neck. Once they were done with lunch, they would be heading back to his house. And then he had a week before they left for tour. Damn it, three months of being around Kris and Resa at the same time? That was gonna be great. And see, there, that was the problem. If he loved Resa, than he shouldn't have to worry about Kris and the off chance of some type of cat fight breaking out between the two. But, for as much as he loved Resa, he just didn't want to hurt Kris. And if she still loved him, he knew that by him marrying Resa, she would hurt.

"You look like you need someone to vent to, man." Alex turned and lifted a brow at Nick. "Hey, I'm just offering my ear. We all know my relationships haven't been the best." Alex nodded his head at that, turning his eyes back to scan the coast again, really thinking of how he would form his next question.

"Man, if I really loved Resa, with everything that's in me..." Nick turned to Alex, already surprised by the way this question was starting, "...than why the hell am I so damn worried about hurting Kris? That any sign of affection I show my fiancé is going to just cut Kris to the core?"