Kurapika x Reader Angst (Selfish)

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A/n: To those who are sensitive to these type of topic, you can just ignore this chapter. This is just a warning.

Enjoy reading!

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Kurapika's POV

Am I not strong enough?

Why...

Why am I still....

So....

Weak...?

"Kurapika, you know revenge won't bring them back, right?"

"It may not be. But it's the only thing I could do... For now, at least."

"Why do you think so?"

"I  do. Why are you asking all of this, (F/n)?"

(F/n) smiled softly at me as I stared at their eyes, seeing the deep hidden sadness in them.

'Why are you sad...?'

"No reason. I just want to ask, why do you want revenge so much?" They asked, looking away from me. Their back facing towards me as they stared at nowhere.

"To avenge their deaths. Isn't that obvious?" I replied, thinking

'Why would you want to ask something as obvious as that?'

"Well... I guess it is. But... Kurapika, is it worth it?"

"Of course it is. Once I have my revenge, my clan can finally be set free from them."

"What if... What if they didn't want you to get revenge?"

"What do you mean?"

"What if... It's just one of your selfish desires?"

"What are you saying?!"

"What if... You just wanted revenge because of your broken heart?"

"Stop! You're speaking nonsense!"

'I'm not selfish! I am not! I... I just want them to pay for what they have done! That's it!'

"But isn't it true?"

"Wha-?!"

(F/n) faced me again, still smiling softly, but their eyes were filled with sadness.

'Hey... Why are you sad? Why hide it?'

"Don't you just want revenge because you are broken hearted to see their deaths? That they are no longer living while you are still here..."

"STOP! THAT'S NOT TRUE!"

I yelled, yelling for them to stop. Tears ran down my cheeks, they kept falling down.....my tears wouldn't stop falling...

"But it is!"

"NO! THAT'S NOT TRUE! I WANT REVENGE FOR THEM, NOT FOR MYSELF!"

"Is it really?"

".... Why...?"

"Hm?"

"Why are you saying all of these...? None of them were true! You don't know what I think! WHAT I FEEL!!!"

I yelled, staring at them in frustration while they still smiled softly at me. Their eyes still showing sadness....

'Why... Why are you sad? Shouldn't I be the one that's sad? You are saying all of this while hurting me and yet... Your eyes shows a huge amount of sadness.'

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