This Lullaby ( Kaylor )

( sun is going down )

Only two chapters left after this one for this fic.  You all are perfect little sunshine angels and I'm sorry for ruining your lives with the past few chapters.  Okay, so, maybe I'm not really sorry.  But hopefully you all can forgive me anyway.

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It had been seven days since Taylor had arrived at Arcadia.  Seven days.  168 hours.  Each second rang with Karlie's name, each minute ached with missing her.  They had placed her into a bunk by herself for now, a rare occurance, but Niki must have picked up her anxiety around the others.  She figured it was a temporary arrangement until the fresh wounds had stopped actively bleeding, then she'd be placed with a couple of other of the young women around her age who she saw in the meal halls at dinner.

She had, at least, found a job in the kitchens.  She used fire to carefully heat up what would have been cold canned soup.  She mixed the processed fruit with other items to take away from its sickly sweet flavor.  She learned how to cook the meat from the deer and rabbits that were hunted, and she learned how to season it with what little she had.

It was all rudementary and so different from what she had once been used to, but Taylor liked the challenge in it.  It gave her something to do, something to learn and focus on.  It gave her something that at least quieted the thoughts of Karlie's blindingly beautiful smile.

She talked to the other cooks when she needed to ask questions or just to make small talk, but most times, she fell into silence.  There was nothing she could say without her voice sounding weak.  She feared people could hear the loss and the guilt in it.  So she turned her haunted blue eyes down, bruises blooming violet under them, hoping that no one would question too much.

Niki, of course, was an exception.  But Taylor had come to realize that's how it was for everyone.  The woman could get a smile out of everyone.  And more than once, Taylor had gone to serve her food and the russet-haired woman had shaken her head and told her to divvy her portion up between the kids in the group.  It was no surprise they had chosen her as their leader.  Taylor had never met someone more capable.

The other exception, however, was different.  Her name was an anomoly, because she never spoke it.  She claimed she'd always hated it and the way people pronounced it.  So she went by Audi, after the car Niki and Marcos had found her in the back of.  She was thirteen, with brown eyes and a smile like she was always starving and always ready to run for her life.

They worked in the kitchens together, a sort of surprisingly efficient team.  The girl was young, but she had been on her own for five months before she was found by the adults.  Her parents and little brother had turned in her living room.  She'd climbed into the car, panicked, and somehow managed to (quite terribly) drive herself four miles before crashing it into a light pole.  But she'd managed to survive, and perhaps that mixed with the way she talked quiet like a mouse was why Taylor felt comfortable around her.  They made quiet jokes while they were cooking, and when they ate dinner alone in the far back corner of the mess hall, Taylor could talk about Karlie without feeling guilt that was too unbearable to deal with.

Currently, she and Audi were perched on the part of the counter where plates would go once they were cleaned.  They had an hour before they needed to start preparing for the dinner rush, and they were reveling in the quiet of the usually-noisy mess hall.  Audi was swining her legs, worn-out converse kicking the air, "Do you still remember all of your songs?"

The girl had been another fan, and when they'd first met, she'd been sort of starstruck, stumbling over her words.  But now she was long-since over her amazement after realizing that in this world, Taylor Swift was just another damaged human just trying to stay alive.  It took the older girl a long time to answer, as she sorted through lyrics in her head, "I mean, I'd know most all of them if I took a while to sing through them and refresh myself on the lyrics.  But a lot I couldn't do off the top of my head."

Audi hummed in response, tilting her head so her hair fell across her face.  She didn't say anything, then all of a sudden, she looked up, her eyebrows lifting in an expression of innocent curiosity, "I uh...I always wanted to go to one of your concerts, but we didn't have the money.  And I used to daydream about getting to go backstage, y'know?  And like...hear you live on stage.  And I---"

"Audi, do you want me to sing something for you?" Taylor asked, intercepting the girl's rambling, already knowing what she wanted from the singer. 

Audi nodded, cheeks growing pink, "I mean...if it's like...okay with you."

"Of course it is," Taylor said.  She thought for a moment, trying to remember what she actually remembered enough of the words to to sing.  She took a deep breath, then sang out gently, her voice reverberating softly in the room, "I remember tears streaming down your face when I said 'I'll never let you go'.  When all those shadows almost killed your light..."

Taylor sang through the entire song, thanking god she remembered every word.  Audi listened with rapt attention, her brown eyes wide and the color of dark chocolate.  She moved her lips as though she wanted to sing along but didn't want to cover up the sound of Taylor's voice.  When the last note faded into silence, Audi leaned forward and hugged her tightly, "Thank you so much, Taylor.  That was beautiful!"

Taylor was about to reply when she heard another voice, "I never thought I'd get to hear the great Taylor Swift sing in person."  She turned, saw Niki leaning against the wall, smiling at her.  The redhead pushed off the wooden siding and walked over.  There was a different sort of twinkle in her eyes than usual, "Besides singing, are you busy, Taylor?"

"Not really, no," Taylor replied, tilting her head in curiosity.

Niki beamed, grabbed her arm, and pulled her off the countertop.  Taylor waved at Audi, eyes wide with confusion.  The girl shook her head, obviously having no idea what this was about, and waved back.

Once they were outside, Niki finally spoke again, "Taylor, do you remember that promise I made you?"

The promise.  To find Karlie?  She couldn't think of another promise Niki had made.

Karlie.  Taylor looked at the leader in shock and confusion, and Niki lifted a hand and pointed.  Taylor followed the direction of her finger, and her heart dropped to her stomach and leaped into her throat all at once.  She might have fallen if not for Niki's hand gripping her upper arm.  A noise escaped her, a mixture of a gasp and a sob.

Because there was Karlie Kloss, being led into camp by a few members of a patrol.

Karlie Kloss, very much alive, and looking like every sunrise Taylor had ever seen.