This Lullaby ( Kaylor )

( never let you go )

A little bit of shameless self promotion here, but I published another multi-chapter Kaylor fic called The Bite That Binds.  Werewolf AU.  Who doesn't want werewolf Kaylor?

But anyway, this is the last of these kind of slower, shorter chapters.  We're near the end, and I promise the last couple of chapters will be much more interesting than the last ones have been.

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Taylor stuffed her hands into the pockets of her jackets, balling them into tense fists.  She found herself missing the safety of a gun at her side, and it was a strange realization considering how much she'd once hated carrying the damn thing at all times.  But Niki had promised she'd get it back in a couple of hours, so Taylor tried to force her taut muscles to relax.

Niki held open the door to the infirmary so Taylor could walk through.  The sunlight was blinding considering she hadn't really stepped out in it in around two days, and she shielded her eyes for a moment, blinking rapidly.  When the sudden onslaught of too-bright blindness faded, she found herself looking at what must have once been some sort of military compound.

It was surrounded with a fence at least 12 feet high, thick metal with wire woven at the top.  People were walking around the wide perimeter or standing next to the entrance gate.  A small collection of vehicles was parked next to one of the concrete buildings.  There were several of the concrete buildings, then others made out of wood like the cabins.  There were also several military-grade tents set up.  It was a sophisticated looking operation, and Taylor found herself taken aback.

"Pretty impressive, isn't it?  I'm still amazed they wanted me to lead them," Niki spoke up, as though reading Taylor's thoughts.  Aviators hid her eyes, but Taylor thought she could see a hint of pride on the woman's lips.

They started their walk around camp.  Most of the cabins served as shelter, with blankets, pillows, and cots inside of them, enough to sleep several people.  According to Niki, there were 57 survivors in the camp.  Single survivors and families were sorted into the cabins.  Married couples were given separate rooms in a set of concrete buildings that were divided for privacy. It felt like an operation run by an actual branch of the military, and Taylor found herself growing more and more impressed with the woman who was showing her around.

When they reached the large building that served as the mess hall, Niki showed her to the food storage area.  It was a large building, and Taylor gasped when she saw exactly how many crates of food and water were stacked inside.  She shot Niki a wide-eyed gaze, "How much food is this?"

"Enough for everyone to eat twice a day for a year, give or take.  We hunt too, so we definitely don't starve," Niki explained.  She quirked an eyebrow at Taylor in curisoity, "Do you know how to hunt?"

The question hit Taylor hard with memories.  She remembered Karlie going out to hunt, then returning with that horrible bite in her calf.  She felt ill, and it took a moment before she found the actual stability to respond, "No.  I...my friend used to.  I'm a good cook, though, if that counts for anything."

Niki gave her a small smile that Taylor figured was supposed to be comforting, "Your friend?"

Taylor debated shrugging her off as they started walking again, feet crunching on the winter-deadened grass.  She debated just not even granting the other woman a response.  It would be easier not to say anything.  Easier to stop herself from bringing up Karlie, reopening the wound of losing her.

But that also seemed a little too much like trying to forget her.  And she didn't want to forget Karlie.  Because she knew that Karlie would never have forgotten her.

She also never would have left you behind.

Her thoughts grated against her like sandpaper.  She wondered if she physically flinched.  Taylor dropped her eyes to her feet as she walked, carving marks into her lower lip with her teeth.  She might have teared up.  She might have whimpered like a wounded dog.  She felt dizzy.

Quickly, Niki spoke up, "You don't have to tell me."

They'd walked behind the secluded safety of a building.  Niki rested a steadying hand on Taylor's shoulder, and finally, Taylor swallowed back her emotions and looked up.  She didn't meet the older woman's eyes, staring at the fence past her left shoulder.

"Her name was Karlie.  And she was...she was more than a friend.  She was my girlfriend, and I loved her.  I still do love her.  I love her like all the goddamn stars in the sky.  She was bitten by a dog a few days ago so she was already weak and limping and then we were in a supermarket getting supplies and were were ambushed by undead.  She...she pushed me out the door and locked it so I could get away.  And I...god, Niki, I left her behind."

A sob tore from her throat at the feeling of admitting the words out loud.  They sliced her tongue.  They were the worst thing she had ever tasted.  And Niki shook her head, gentle and soothing when she spoke, "She did it to save you, Taylor.  She wouldn't have wanted you to stay."

"Maybe if I'd stayed...maybe she'd be alive.  Or maybe she still is.  Maybe she's alone and hurt and--" the strength to speak left her as more tears bloomed and fell down her cheeks.  Within seconds, she was being pulled gently into Niki's arms.  The other woman was a stranger, relatively, but she had kind eyes and carried herself with strength.

Taylor sobbed into her shoulder, loud and ragged and painful.  And Niki ran fingers through her messy hair, shushing her gently, whispering soothingly, "I'll do whatever I can to find her, okay?  Either we'll find her alive or we'll find her body.  But we'll get you closure, Taylor."

"Promise?" Taylor asked, weak, feeling a lot like a child.

Niki squeezed her gently, "Promise."