XII.
THEA'S POV
I stare blankly at the casket which holds the still corpse of my grandmother as they place her into the ground. I always wondered how I'd feel in this moment, the moment I lost her forever and for the longest I tried to convince myself that I wouldn't be that upset. Nothing could've prepared me for this though, this feeling of emptiness that courses throughout me. I held onto so much hate when it came to her because of how she treated me, but the truth is without her I wouldn't be as strong as I am. There's many things she could've done differently when raising me but there's some things she got right. I wish our bond could've been repaired, she didn't even get a chance to meet the twins.
I can hear my mother crying next to me as Maverick holds her in his arms. Jalen had offered to come with me when I dropped the twins off, but I declined. It wasn't because of our situation though, it was because I just wanted to deal with this alone. I drop my flowers into the grave as everyone else does the same, before turning and making my way back towards the limo.
"I can't believe she's gone and I didn't even know she was sick," Monica cries into Maverick's suit as we settle into the back of our stretched out ride.
"We talked almost everyday," she continues and Maverick kisses the crown of her head before pulling her close to him.
"I'm sorry, baby," he says before looking over in my direction, "you okay?"
"Yeah," I give him a slightly reassuring smile and he returns it as my mother wipes her tears and faces me.
"I know you two ended off on bad terms, but she expressed to me how apologetic she was. She never wanted to push you away, T.," she informs me and I nod in response. I'm not really in the mood to talk.
Fifteen minutes passes before we make it to my grandmother's house to change for the small get together for the remembrance of her. I climb out of the limo after them, before thanking the chauffeur and disappearing into the house.
"I'm not going," I tell them as I make my way upstairs and into my old room. I close the door shut behind me, before removing my black dress and climbing into bed.
I stare at my ceiling for a few minutes, allowing a million thoughts to cloud my mind. I have so many things that I have to tend to when I get back home. I have get the twins from Jalen, search for an apartment to stay in so I don't have to invade anyone else's space, search for a job so I'm not depending on Jalen for anything, book a therapy appointment, and spend time with my girls. I try to think of more things to distract my mind from the fact that I just lost the only person that was willing to take me in when my parents left. She knew that taking me in would put her life in jeopardy, but she didn't care. I never acknowledged that until now.
"You sure you wanna stay here?" Monica questions as she enters my room.
"I'm sure," I respond.
"Alright. We're leaving now, I'll bring you a plate back."
"Thank you, be safe."
I watch as she leaves the room and I grab my phone, before face-timing Jalen. He answers almost immediately and I smile a little at the sight of him, it makes me feel better.
"Wassup? You good?" He asks, before turning his attention towards the twins. I can hear them talking a little in the background.
