love war with my best friend - dream

xi

TW: anxiety, depression, self harm, panics attacks

(i changed the time of staying with clay from two weeks to 3 weeks btw)
15 days left.

clay's pov

i woke up on y/n's stomach. she was still sleeping..i smiled. she's so cute and peaceful when she sleeps. she really deserves the world, she's such an angel..and then an idea popped in my head..

i carefully and quietly got up and left the bed. i laid the blankets back over y/n and then kissed her forehead. i still can't believe she's mine.. i walked downstairs to the kitchen and started to make breakfast. i grabbed eggs and bacon from the fridge and started to cook them.

y/n's pov

"clay..no..no- NO." i woke up in a cold sweat. they're back. the nightmares are back.. i heard running feet run up the stairs and up to clay's room. clay opened the door and ran over to me.

"are you okay? i heard you scream." he sat down on the bed and rubbed my back in circles with one hand and the other held my hands.

"uh..yeah i'm okay."

"y/n..what happened? please don't lie.."

i sighed. "i had another one of those nightmares.." i admitted.

clay just looked at me with a saddened face and hugged me tight. i hugged him back...your probably wondering what's happening. let me tell you.

when you first met clay you had really bad anxiety and depression. at one point it got so bad you cut your fingers quite a bit..you still have the scars on your left hand. when clay found out about the anxiety and depression from george, he immediately came to your needs and attention and helped you through it. you always woke up to a motivational, sweet message from him and went to bed with a sweet and loving goodnight message from him. every time you needed him when you just felt super sad or you were having a panic attack, you would call him and he would calm you down by just talking to you with his soothing voice or sometimes, he would calmly hum to you. you stopped harming yourself after the one time because you promised clay you'd stop. the anxiety and depression went away about a month or two after clay started to help you out. every now and then you'd get a panic attack but clay would help you through it over a call. you haven't gotten any recently but you've been getting these terrible nightmares. one of your greatest fears is being alone or people leaving you and since you tweeted about waiting for clay at the airport, you've been seeing hate comments that were hurtful. you can be very sensitive sometimes, in this case it was very sensitive to you. you just woke up from a nightmare about clay breaking up with you. leaving you. anyways back to the story..

i felt tears forming in my eyes. i don't know why i was about to cry..the topic is just sensitive i guess.. clay continued to rub my back in circles and hugged me even tighter.

"how often have they been happening?" he asked while still hugging me.

"2 nights ago." i dug my face into his neck.

he sighed. "i love you y/n. so much... do you want to talk about it?" he let go of my and wiped the tears from my cheeks with his thumbs.

"um..not really but long story short i..uh..had a nightmare about you breaking up with me and leaving me here..alone." clay knew how much i feared people leaving me. i looked up at him and i could see tears forming in his eyes.

"y/n...i would never EVER leave you. i love you too much..and you know what? you make me go crazy. when i look at you, i think wow. i'm so lucky to have you. to know that your mine. mine! your all mine!" i laughed a little, making him smile. "and your so sweet..and kind..and my gosh..the most BEAUTIFUL woman. i have EVER seen. you make me, me. you make me who i am today. and i love you so much. i'll never leave you y/n.." he hugged me tight.

"i love you clay."

"i love you more."

a/n
i really didn't want to drag out this chapter so i'm just stopped it here. sorry i didn't update for a while, mental health has been a little crazy lol. hope you guys have a great day/night! love you guys! :]

finished may 2, 2021
(732 words)