Konoha fox

Omake 1

Naruto wanders in the tower, meets kitty and sandy when they're staring each other down. He learned a thing from Ino, enters Yugito's mindscape, rock-paper-scossors naruto-yugito-nibi(nibi- "humans are weak" Naru-"and that's why you're sealed and caged like an animal")

"This" Naruto said opening his arm to indicate everything around them, "this is the metaphysical representation of your mind."

Yugito looked at him for a couple of seconds.

"What?"

"We're inside your head. I must say it's rather spacious. Emptier than I thought."

She narrowed her eyes at him. Yugito could have been surprised, but she wasn't an idiot and could tell when someone was insulting her. Or trying to distract her, for that matter.

"And pray tell, what the f*** are you doing here?"

"Me?" Naruto pointed to himself before smiling, "I happen to have a teammate who specializes in this kind of 'in-your-head' jutsu. So, I observed, asked her a question or two, and finally decided to try it out. But that's the how, not the why, right?" He smiled amicably at her "I wanted to see the overgrown kitten behind you."

The Kumo kunoichi would have never turned to actually look behind herself if it wasn't for the noise, something in between a hissing and a growl, that rose up. Besides 'inside her mind' and 'kitten' were two concepts that when together really put her on edge.

As she did turn around, Yugito found herself facing the demon whose voice had plagued and kept her company for as long as she could remember.

A gigantic blue flamed cat with two tails: the Nibi no Nekomata.

Yugito's mouth opened in shock, the sight honestly scaring her, even if she immediately noticed the leash that chained the Two-tailed demon to a 'wall'.

"Sure, give me a dango stick, some ninja-wire and a roll of toilet paper and I'll destroy whatever enemy village that'll attack us."

"...Are you feeling well, Naruto?"

"I'm not Naruto. Call me MacGyver."

Naruto was standing in his boxers with a bowl of cereals lazily eating them.

A bit of milk even dripped down his chin adding to the scene of sleepiness and helplessness he was picturing.

There was however a tiny little insignificant peculiarity about those specific boxers: they were a gift from Jiraiya, who for some reason had felt the godfatherly need to provide Naruto with a supply of boxers that was equal to that of some daimyo wife's shoes.

Those particular pair were black with a red emblem of the Leaf village on the right leg and a white writing on the front. As Anko read those words she had to bite her cheek to keep herself from laughing until she choked.

If she ever needed further proof of it, the boy just demonstrated how fun and ballsy he was.

She idly wondered what would have happened if he had pulled this stunt during the finals in front of the feudal lords and had to bite harder.

On the other hand, when Tsunade had read her son's boxers she took out a syringe and tried to inject the contents of the bottle of sake she was about to drink directly in her veins. Shizune was half trying to stop her and half trying to come to terms with her "little brother's" choice of underwear.

Ino, however, didn't react at all. As soon as she noticed the writing on her teammate's boxers she simply froze. She then mechanically moved back to her place and stood there.

It was another blond kunoichi, the Kumo-nin Nii Yugito, who gained Naruto's attention by reading that sentence out loud, "Here is the Big Tree. What the hell do you think you're doing presenting yourself wearing that thing? Aren't you assuming much?"