Eddy cried last thursday

After having finished the video, Eddy quickly rose to turn off the camera. While he stood there, fiddling with the buttons, in every hope Brett would run out with the rest of the durian, Brett came sneaking up behind him and put his both arms around him.
-So... you cried last thursday huh? Why?
-I won't tell.
-Why not?
-It's not important.
-You sure?
-Uhu
-I don't believe you.
-Whatever.

Eddy broke free and turned to the table, taking care of that stinky shit himself.
-I lied, ok?
-Huh?
-It was just a lie to have something to tell about
-No, it was not!
-It was!
-Hell Eddy, I know you better than to believe that!
-Can you please let me get this stinky shit in the garbage?
-No. I don't care about that right now.
Brett blocked the doorway and entwined his arms firmly in front of his chest.
-It was nothing important!!
-Then why are you acting so weird?
-Why are you acting so pushy?
-You have been weird this last week and I wanna know why! Because I care about you! I love you!
-It's not important!
-Then why won't you tell me? Is it about me?
-JUST STOP IT!!!
-Ok.

Eddy pushed himself between Brett and the doorframe and ran out with the garbage.
He didn't even wanna go inside again, knowing Brett would keep on nagging about this crap.
But he left his phone upstairs, and he didn't wanna be outside without it, sooo...he just had to go back.
-Fuck! Eddy groaned. -Whatever.

Dining with someone in the middle of an unfinished conversation or argument is rather shitty.
After they moved in together they had been careful to keep up that routine of eating together at the big diningtable.
"Like a family" Eddy thought. "If we could ever have been a family".

That intense silence. That silence which was booming in the whole apartment. In Eddy's ears. In his whole body.
That thick silence where you could hear jaws working, teeth chewing... the fork scraping against the plate...
Eddy couldn't take it.
-This was good, he tried, meaning the food.
-Mhm
-Feels good to be able to swallow down the durian-taste, he tried with a smile. It was a stiff one. And Brett didn't buy it. Not at all.
-Uhu.
Eddy tried to act normal, taking a sip from his glass of water.

"Omg, I can't stand this behaviour of his!"

-Ok, Eddy said, slowly chewing and swallowing the last bit, silently let the fork down on the plate, and folded his hands.
Brett looked up, already knowing what was coming. He knew Eddy too well.

-I cried because... I want a family.

Something cold ran down Brett's spine. It felt as if someone stabbed him in the middle of his heart.

-You mean kids?
-Yeah.
-We have talked about this before, Brett whispered, staring down on his plate.
-Yes, we have.
-Several times.
-Uhu.
-You know where I stand.
-I do.
-Why can't you just let that go?
-I don't know.
Tears were forming in Eddy's eyes again.
-You knew from the start that I don't want kids. I told you!
-You did.
-You still married me!
-Because I love you.
-Maybe you were wrong. Brett regretted it before he even spoke the words, but yet he couldn't stop them. He felt too hurt.
-Maybe I was, Eddy whispered so softly it was almost not possible to hear, but Brett did. Another stab right in the heart. How many could he take before he would die from an internal bleeding?
-Excuse me? Brett's voice was trembling.
Eddy just wanted to faint. Maybe he could fake a heart-attack. Whatever just to get away from this shitty conversation!
He closed his eyes and could hear how Brett's breath was shivering.
"Yeah, great, now he starts crying as well".
-Do you regret marrying me?
-No
-You wanna divorce me?
-Of course not!
-Clearly I can't give you what you want! Brett's voice was crescendoing.

How the hell did these words go there? That way? Eddy kind of knew it would. He knew Brett so well after all these years. That's why he didn't want to tell in the first place.
-You asked. You're the one who had to know, Eddy said stadily with a voice as cold as ice as he rose from the table and put his dish in the washer.

Brett's sulking was the number one on Eddy's hate-list, to be fair.
It always made him so desperate he made bad decisions. Like now.
And it didn't make it any easier that Brett continued that behaviour the rest of the evening.

Eddy kept sitting in their studio, pretending he worked on the laptop, but was really just passing time.
He could have practiced but didn't want to be in their spareroom/practiceroom, in case Brett suddenly needed something from there.
Their studio was pretty much always empty for stuff, you know, whoever was inside there at any time wanted peace and pretty much got it.
Eddy was dreading for the bedtime, having to face and be with Brett eventually.
Fortunately Brett used to go to bed earlier than him. He could hope tonight was not an exception, and he could sneak under the covers after Brett had started snoring. Brett had his spot with the window anyway.

Lucky for Eddy Brett actually was feeling so hurt he went to bed very early that night.
Eddy sighed as he could hear Brett brushing his teeth.
-God!
He ran his hand through his hair and closed his eyes, before hiding his face behind his arm, resting on the desk.

Eddy's body was aching from sitting there way too long, he tiptoed out in the hallway, listening for Brett's snores or at least his sleeping-breath.
Nothing.
-Whatever.
He felt dizzy and sleepy, he had to go to bed. No matter what.

"So far so good", Eddy thought while finally lying under the covers, which he shared with Brett, so he had to be careful not to pull too much in it.
Singaporean nights were never cold anyways, he didn't actually need it.
He flinched the moment he heard Brett's cold voice:
-So..., what do you want then?
Eddy clenched his eyes shut.
-What do you mean?
-Do you want me to divorce you?
-What??
-I mean, you're clearly too pussy to divorce me, right? I thought I'd help you.
-Can you please stop saying that word?? You're scaring me!!
-Just thought that's what you wanted.
-I... NEVER... took that word in my mouth! YOU did!

-You hurt me bringing this up AGAIN.
-Well, YOU asked!
-I know. I regret it.
-Why do you hate kids?
-I don't hate them! It's just... there have been kids in and out of our house all my life, I guess I ve had enough.
-That's not the same as having one yourself though.
-No. Having kids is a HUGE responsability! Do you even have an idea??
-Yea.
-How on earth do you think we can do that, huh? We ain't got no time or energy for raising a kid!
-We have!
-Eddy! Brett turned around, facing him, and Eddy did the same.
-You don't think the world will keep on like this, with Corona and that shit??
-At least I hope not.
-Because last time we talked about this you agreed with me! I want to live like we do now! Or, I mean, like we did, before Corona. I want to spend my life with you and the music! Practicing, playing, touring, I wanna keep on exploring the world with you!
Brett stroked Eddy's way too long bangs away from his eyes.
-You need a haircut, you know? He smiled.
-I know, Eddy chuckled.
-Are you bored now when the world is like this?
-I am! Staying inside and not being able to do what I want!
-Which is?
-Touring with you. Being a soloist with you. Living our dream.
-How are you gonna fix that with a kid hanging on to your leg, screaming, huh?
-I don't know? You babysit while I'll be doing soloiststuff? Eddy grinned.
-Yeah, you wish huh?!
Brett threw himself over his husband, tickling him, which made Eddy scream. -Shush! It's late! Brett said firmly, looking down on him, stroking his cheek with the back of his hand.
Eddy was drowning in Brett's kind, warm, dark eyes.
-You know, I just... wanted to have something with you, something special, SHARING something.
-Omg, you're sharing my whole life Eddy! Brett rolled his eyes. -We're married, we live together. What more do you want??
-I want something... ours you know, something like... That's partly you and partly me, which we have created. You know?
-And that has to be a baby? We can't create a baby partly you and partly me anyway, you know that right? I hope? Brett laughed softly.
-Ugh
-What about twoset, huh? That is the hugest thing I've ever created and built my whole life! That's 50% yours, and 50% mine. That's our baby! Or even better!
-uuuuuhhh
-And as those proud asian parents we are we're showing our kid to the whole world almost every day, huh? It needs a lot of maintenance, and that's something you share only with me.
-And the rest of the team.
-Tsk! They are paid babysitters! Nannys! Duuuhhh!! No parents can do everything by themselves! Not even asians!

-You happy Eddy? You see what I mean? We already got a kid! It's already turned 7, omg!
-Yeah, you're right. Twoset's our baby.
-Twoset's our baby.
-Ok, well, then. Guess we don't need that divorce anyway. Thank God!
-Yeah, thank God! So much paperwork.... tsk!
-THAT'S what you would worry about, huh?
Eddy quickly toppled them over, pushed Brett down into the mattress.
Brett looked up at him with burning eyes. -Yeah. I mean... what else?
A fire lit up in Eddy, claiming him, craving him, this beautiful husband of his.
-Maybe I gotta show you! Eddy attacked Brett's neck and the rest of the whole wide world disappeared.