Lonely Night

Chapter 17

Life has many ways of testing a person's will, either by having nothing happen at all or by having everything happen all at once.

That night, everything happened all at once.

Both for Ikjun and me.

I sneaked up to my bedroom, crying.

The most painful crying ever. The cry when everyone else is asleep. The cry where you can feel it in your throat; it made my vision blurry from the tears. That one cry when you just wanted to scream, you had to hold your breath and grab onto your stomach to keep yourself quiet.

'Lee Ikjun...'

That is the name I could think of. The only name I call in my silence.

Sometimes we just could not figure out why certain things happened in our lives, how a smile can turn upside down within seconds, how the morning lights suddenly disappear behind the night sky.

I curled up into a ball, limply on top of my bed. I let the tears keep falling and make my eyes swell. I still couldn't process what happened that night. Everything was fine at first. It was still apparent in my mind how I got butterflies in my stomach when I saw Ikjun, handsome and dashing, standing in front of me. It's still clear how a few hours ago, he flashed a smile at me, a smile that made me pray that I would be given long enough life so that I could see it every single day.

But often, I let myself forget the fact that the person who makes you the happiest is the person who can hurt you the most.

I stared blankly at the dark sky. That night it rained so heavily that it made the scenery seem hazy.

I decided to pack my things and go back home very early in the morning. Not that I have an appointment or an operation scheduled, I thought it might be best to keep myself busy for some time. Though, I did lie to my parents, saying that I had an emergency patient. Before I left, I could see the sight in my mother's eyes. She knew. Mother knows everything.

'Take your time; don't think about it too much. If it was meant to be, then fate will also be the one bringing him back to you.'

'Eomma, how did you know?'

She lets out a heavy sighed.

'How would I not know. In the evening I saw two people walking out of this door. At night, I saw only one returned. Ikjun is not that kind of person. I know very well, Ikjun will never do that. The gentleman he is, he will not go home without greeting and saying goodbye to the elders.'

'But he did-'

'Unless something happened.'

My eyes got teary once more. Mother stretched out her hand to wipe off my tears. 'Ouh, look at my baby girl. Don't cry, my dear.'

'Eomma...' I whined.

'You and Ikjun must put your egos aside. What happened, let it happen. In this case, there are only two possibilities: either the two of you did wrong or you two made the same mistake; putting it all in the past is the most important. And one more thing you need to remember, Chae Songhwa, you can't rush something you want to last forever.'

I just smiled and nodded my head. 'But some people waited long enough, eomma.'

'I know.' she replied, brushing off my hair. 'Just a little more, the best is yet to come.'

I chuckled as I let myself sink in my mother's embrace. 'Oh, my sweet daughter... promise me you'll drive safely. Don't forget to call or else your father will go mad.'

'Arasseo. I will.'

------

On the trip back to Sokcho, I let my phone turned on; deep in my heart, I was desperately hoping the ringtone would go off and flash Ikjun's name on the screen.