A Screwed Up Mess

Chapter 1

This is my first attempt at a fanfic here on wattpad, so I must warn there is Mature Content, it is also triggering, I'm so sorry if this offends ANYONE. It's not meant to.

Warning: I have already gotten the story figured out, BUT I go along as I think so please keep up with me as I WILL be editing and it WILL get better. trust me! thank you!

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Chapter 1

There's a moment when that crooked silver blade swipes your wrist, and you feel the cold metal slice your skin. When you have that moment filled with pure adrenaline, you're fully aware of what you're doing to yourself. No matter what anyone thinks. Then the stinging comes and the blood dries and you have that brief second of self-doubt...maybe this is wrong... But that last moment of thought before you black out is the most serenity you've had in ages and you're reassured.

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My eyes remained closed but I heard everything around me "beep! beep! beep!"

Curiously, I held my breath. "beeeeeeeepppp!" I chuckled quietly to myself and the monitor slowly went back to its normal self.

I gently opened my right eye and squinted, adjusting to the light. I skimmed the room and groaned at the sight of the many machines around me. In the hospital again. I had at least 3 needles poking my arms and a new set of bandages on my wrists.

The chick lying in a bed next to me was small, couldn't be older than 6, and she had bruises all over her. I frowned. Dr. Monroe entered my- our - room and smiled "how's my favorite patient?" he asked. I nodded at her and smirked a little. "Penny you have to stop doing this, I can't help if you don't want to be helped" he whispered, looking at the floor.

I shrugged, and he sighed. He shifted weight from foot to foot like he had to pee, while he wrote on my clipboard.

My bed was inclined upward, and my spine ached like a bitch. My hair was everywhere.

I wasn't even sure what day it was.

*Flashback*

The music was being pumped loudly throughout the house, shaking the floor and anyone on it. The isolated corner where I was drinking, was beginning to get lonely, and it wasn't entertaining to watch the two people making out and sharing saliva on the brown leather couch to my right.

This was the first time I'd been to a party in a few years. They weren't my favorite..

I walked into the living room, attracting a few glares and mutters, and successfully breaking up the couple on the couch. I sat down on the far end of the leather couch next to said couple. "Hey" I said, giving them a nod. They... well they laughed and continued kissing. Let's just say the school outcast wasn't really allowed at these parties. Only reason I am here was because... well I don't know.

The thrill of it?

Oh who am I kidding, I wanted to hand Lindsay and her little followers what they'd been dishing out to me for years.

Not to mention that the party is in my ex-bestfriend's house. I hadn't been here for years! I was impatiently waiting. Leaning on the filled bookshelf on my left. I was beginning to get frustrated and was about to give up and leave, when I saw them.

I watched them waddle into the living room, through a door to my far left, and quickly adjusted my clothes.. Suddenly self-conscious, I fixed my white polo and denim shorts.

I followed after them.

They situated themselves in front of the sofa, all holding beer cups, laughing at some random joke. But as got I closer their laughter died.

Lindsay waited expectantly, arms crossed over her body, her black bra completely noticeable. And she smirked. She had the decency to SMIRK!

I looked into Lindsay's eyes, took the deepest breath I'd ever taken in my life, and exhaled, "you're such a bitch" with a surge of confidence I didn't know I had. Not the best thing to say to stand up to her..

Before I realized what was happening, she was scoffing and throwing beer at me.

I flinched and gasped awkwardly, stepping back and slipping onto the floor. Lindsay and the other two continued harassing me.

Pushing myself up using all the force I could muster, I gave them all the finger, and earned a few scowls.

I looked down at myself drenched from head to toe, my clothes were ruined. Tears started spilling. I turned and ran to the bathroom I knew was located next to the staircase.

This party was bullshit anyways.