𝕻𝖚𝖙 𝖒𝖊 𝖎𝖓 𝖆 𝖒𝖔𝖛𝖎𝖊 (𝔈𝔯𝔢𝔫 𝔵 ℜ𝔢𝔞𝔡𝔢𝔯)

4| 𝕹𝖔𝖇𝖔𝖉𝖞

TW; panic attack

  Rain was never your favourite.

Awkwardly speed walking to a random location was embarrassing most people had their umbrellas walking past you not noticing you.

Step after step your foot started to get soaked which made your movements slower than before.

Huffing under your breath you started to panic. Overthinking about how people probably are questioning what you were doing only making your panic worse.

Tripping under your feet you started to feel the pavement hit against your skin.

Started to process what just happened was made you lose it. You have most definitely gotten someone's attention

They probably are laughing at me
I won't ever recover from this

You didn't even want to move. You wanted to stay laying on the pavement forever. Maybe just maybe the world would take pity upon you and swallow you whole

Looking up shakily as the sky cried over you in pity you looked around you

Nobody looked at you
Nobody
nobody
nobody

You chuckled at yourself remembering
you were seen almost like a ghost how silly were you to think that someone would stop at the street for you.

All these people surrounded you walking towards their destination ahead of you while you laid while your arms support you looking at them

People sharing umbrellas smiling upon their friends and loved ones

Tears slipped out of your eyes ever so delicately hidden in the rain.

All these people surrounded you

All the people in the world had somebody

yet you remained alone.

Your breathing turned more rapid and faster as your mind screamed all these random thoughts that you tried pushing away however they'd only come back.

Looking up once again all you saw were Happy faces

Why are you smiling?

Why are you so happy?

That's all you wanted to ask

gathering all the stability you had left you ran towards the opposite way of where the bystanders were walking

You weren't far from the dorm. For once in your life, you'd be selfish with Sasha kicking her out with her friends

Maybe she'd enjoy standing in the rain with her little party dress since she had no problem sending you out

Locating the dorm you stormed inside getting into the elevator containing every emotion you had within you

finding your room you rapidly started knocking. You hesitated for a bit however you were upset and so conflicted

You could hear the loud beats of music quite down a bit as your hand still was shaking against the door

Sasha opening the door thinking it was probably more people she invited earlier she was a bit disappointed when she saw you were back.

You gazed up looking at her. Your arm fell from the knocking position to by your side

"get out," you said shakily

That grabbed the attention of Sasha's  friends who just froze on what they were doing

Sasha shocked that you could pull something like that

"Wha- why I would leave"

This pissed you off. It was one thing to invite her friends all fucking night however she'd never invited her friends during the day. You thought that was an unspoken rule between the two of you

Locking eyes with her you decided that words weren't enough you decided you take full-on action

Grabbing her arm with your wet hand from the rain you dragged her out of the room with all your strength you pushed into the ground.

all of her 5 friends rushed towards her aid outside on the hallway and you saw that as a jackpot

Slamming the door behind you making sure you locked both of the locks followed by a click.

Your back now pressed against the door you slide down hands covering your face while you could hear the doorknob getting turned follow by crazy banging

"Just please stop" You whispered
You were overwhelmed  with emotions from anger, sadness and panic almost like a tornado of emotions swirling inside of you wreaking your heart

All the emotion you hiding within you started busting all too fast. Covering your mouth you started rushing towards the bathroom to get away from all the banging and angry yells out coming from Sasha's friends

Closing the bathroom door tears slipped from your eyes as you still covered your mouth to muffle the sobs coming.

You knew deep down that it was all your fault. Sasha had the right to invite her friends anytime she wanted since she was paying for dorm fees and all just like you.

It was the fact you couldn't control your anxiety and jealously towards people

You were now hugging your knees to your chest

Shutting off all of the noises around you.

                                 
    
                                      ☹︎

"You seriously got locked out of your dorm" Eren and Armin was laughing at Sasha and 5 of her friends

Now at Floch's party the two were listening to Sashas story

"Not only did she lock me out she always dragged my arm and pushed me out" The girl showed the two boys her arm which had half-moon marks that left a scar from your harsh grip earlier

"The next time I see that bitch it's on-site" Mikasa scoffed she was one of the friends who witness the whole ordeal fold out

Ymir, Historia, Connie, Jean and Marco also agreed

Eren smirked he was in the mood for some drama content for his spam page

"This party was boring anyways what if we go and pay this girl a little visit"

                                     ☹︎

I wanted to write Y/N realistic as possible so it's going to take a while before she starts opening up

anyways i doubled updated today as i should ‼️