Revival » Stiles Stilinski

Chapter 5 - Feelings

"I'm picking you up" Stiles says into the phone as i answer it.

"You do know, i have a car right" I respond as i make myself my morning cup of coffee. 

"Yes, but Lydia and Jackson got attacked last night by the alpha so i'm picking you up"

"What do you mean they got attacked?" i say "Are they okay?" Jackson may annoy me and Lydia may have this bitchy girl act going on but i don't want either of them hurt

"Yeah, i think so, i don't really know. Look be ready in 10 minutes" He says before he hangs up

"Everything okay?" Jody says as she walks in

"Stiles is picking me up" i say causing her to raise her eyebrows at me "Not like that. The alpha attacked Lydia and Jackson" i say

"Seems like he want to make sure your safe" She says with a small smile on her face

"We both know it'd be me keeping him safe" She laughs at my comment. God i hope nothing happens to Stiles.

"Yeah. You okay?" Jody notices that i'm deep in thought

"I feel guilty" I say as i look up at her "as crazy as everything is, i'm happy here."

"Look, you deserve to be happy. I know you're angry at Sam and a part of you is angry at Dean and Cas as well. But, they want you to have the kind if life, you should have had. To go to school and do boring assignment and go on dates with boys that may possible break your heart. You shouldn't feel guilty about being happy here. It's what they wanted for you." Jody says as she gives me a hug.

"What if i can't keep them safe?" I ask after she pulls away from me "I couldn't protect Dean, Cas, Kevin, Bobby or my dad. Hell i couldn't protect Adam either. What if i get so emotionally attached to Stiles, Scott and Allison, and i lose them?"

"Oh, sweetheart. The fact that you worry about it means i know, you'll do everything you can to make sure you don't. Loving someone always means there is a chance to lose them, but if you let that fear take over, you'll never be happy" 

There's a knock on the door. Jody goes to answer it while i finish my coffee and put my glass in the sink. "Mara, someones here for you"

I walk towards the front door to see Stiles "You didn't have to get down, you could have beeped" I smile at him

"Oh, uh, well, i think you deserve better than that" God i'm so happy Scott isn't here or he would hear how fast my heart is beating right now

"Right, well get to school kids" Jody says with a huge smile on her face.

+

Stiles and i are in mr harris' class and i have never hated my life more. Maybe i should find a way to bring Lucifer back just to destroy this teacher.

"Just a friendly reminder, parent/teacher conferences are tonight. Students below a 'c' average are required to attend. I won't name you because of the shame and self-disgust should be more than enough punishment. Has anyone seen Scott McCall?" He asks as he stands by me and Stiles. 

Stiles looks up with the highlighter lid in his mouth. God he's so cute. Jackson walks into the room and everyone gets distracted.

I look down and continue my work ignoring everyone else around me.

Fuck me, i think i have feelings for Stiles

+

"I'm gonna go see Lydia" Stiles says as he hangs up the phone with Scott. I nod not really paying attention. Maybe i should start to keep my distance. Once feelings like this gets involved it doesn't go well. Especially for the winchesters. "Hey" Stiles says as he lightly grabs my arm "Are you alright?" I look at him

"Yeah, i'm good" 

"Do you want to come with me to Lydia's house or should i drop you off?"

"I want to go home. But i think i'm gonna walk" I say as i turn to leave

"Woah, woah, woah. No way am i letting you walk home with a crazy alpha on the loose. I'll drive you"

"Stiles, really i'll w-"

"Mara, i'm not arguing with you on this. I don't want you getting hurt" Stiles says as he looks me in the eye

"Yeah, okay" i mumble as i look down. He continues walking while i follow

+

I'm laying on my bed just thinking. How different everything is now compared to then. And about Stiles. I can't get him out of my head and it sucks. I hate it. How everything is a mess right now and yet with him it feels so calm. i hate how my heart beats faster when he touches me or says my name and i hate that it would never really work out between us. Not really. I'm a Winchester. We don't get happy endings.

"Hey" Jody says as she comes into my room. "I'm headed to parent teacher night" I nod "You alright?"

"We don't get happy ending right?" She looks at me confused "Winchesters, we don't get happy endings"

"What's this about?" She says as she sits on my bed. I shake my head

"Nothing, sorry"

"Is it about Stiles?" 

"I'm scared. I think i like him. And that scares me cause everyone i love, is gone" i say as i feel myself getting emotional

"Listen to me, i need you to really listen. Happiness isn't an ending, it isn't a destination. No one ever really gets a happy ending. Happiness is an emotion." An emotion "If you're constantly looking for a happy ending, you won't get it. Let yourself feel, let yourself make friends and maybe even fall in love. Because the fact is, people will hurt you and break your heart but they can also make you calm, and feel special and happy. If you remember that happiness is an emotion, it'll make everything else so much easier"

"I love you, Jody"

"I love you too, Mara. Now i got to go, you okay here?" I nod as she leaves. 

+

"Hey" Stiles says

"Hey" I say into the phone, i'm still laying on my bed

"What are you doing?" 

"Laying" 

"Cool" He says before theres a pause "Look, are you okay?"

"I'm fine" I say 

"You just seemed a bit off at school, are you feeling sick? I can bring you something to make you feel better?"

"I'm okay, Stiles. I promise." I sigh "Stiles?" 

"Yeah"

"Thank you"

"For what?"

"For making me feel happy for the first time since Dean died" i say. There's a pause on the other side and i'm worried i freaked him out

"I'd do anything for you" i smile into the phone.