countless pillows soaked by tears and nights spent glaring at the harsh light of a phone's screen. article after article, scouring sites and forums, teenage changbin tried to understand what he was feeling and how to get rid of it.
from what he could tell, it was all in his head. he just wanted attention, wanted to be special, different. there was nothing wrong with him, he was just being a freak.
so he tried working out, hyperfixating on doing all things considered masculine, and pretended as though he never vented his hurt to a living soul.
eunji was happy about it, kept calling him a boy, feigned pretty smiles and waved him goodbye after school.
changbin was exhausted, a husk of what once was, a puppet held up solely by its strings made to dance upon a caving stage.
as time went on, so did his discomfort with his body increase. changing made him feel a wave of nausea, catching glimpses of his appearance made him want to rip his face off, hearing the voice that left his mouth made him wish to be mute.
and adult changbin began to understand, after years of ignoring it, that no matter how much he tried to run from who she was, it's impossible to escape yourself forever.
YOU ARE READING
SKIN. － 3racha
Fanfiction❝maybe if i could rip this body of mine to pieces i'd be happy.❞ in which changbin's existence is limited to a rotten cage of flesh and bone. lapslock written: 28/04/21-04/05/21 edited: 18/05/21 word count: 5,135
