〔 愛 〕𝗯𝗮𝗯𝘆 𝗵𝗼𝘁𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗲 ⨾ 𝚕𝚎𝚎 𝚜𝚞𝚑𝚘

━━━ ❪ 𝗢𝗢𝟭 ❫

Gyuri was sitting on the cold floor in her room, glazed over eyes watching the door in front of her. She sat, unmoving, expecting her father to burst in – a bottle of sedatives in hand, seeing as she was having yet another "episode" of hers – despite the fact the door was locked.

The events prior left Gyuri shaken. She had entered the house after school, head down with her earphones in. She wasn't listening to music, but trying to block out the world. Her heart was pounding in her ears, and she wanted to scream as her nails dug into her wrist.

Her mind was swimming – her woes echoing through every crevice of her brain. She was a ticking time bomb, bound to erupt any minute, ready to self destruct at any moment. As she was walking upstairs towards her room, her father called out to her. That bastard.

"Gyuri-ah, don't forget to take your meds," he called out, looking at his daughter in sympathy. It was like he was mocking her, and Gyuri wasn't having any of it. It was hard enough being compliant as it was, but the younger female wasn't in the mood to pretend right now.

"I don't need meds, I don't know why you make me take them," she retorted, her mind's cries and whines amplifying and echoing through her ears. "Leave me alone."

Her father – Hansol – furrowed his brows. "Gyuri, you're not being yourself. Are you okay?" he asked.

"When I am I ever myself?!" she cried, her mind exploding as the thoughts came rushing out of her mouth like a waterfall.

"Mom died and you're acting like you don't care. She could have been murdered, and yet you act like everything is normal. And when I'm completely fine, you act like I have some sort of disease!!" she screeched, throwing her bag at him.

"Gyuri!" Hansol called, voice deep and dark. The brunette new she was in for it now. She ran up to her room and slammed the door, heart pounding.

She wanted to cry, gosh she just wanted to rip her hair out and scream. Most importantly she wanted to join her mother in the ever after life. She hated being alive, it was tiresome. Just as a child hates chores, living had become a chore to Gyuri.

But Gyuri lived on anyway, for him. For Suho. Picking up her phone, she dropped him a text.

‘‘i'll be over in five.’’

She put her phone in her pocket, hearing her father's fists pounding on the door. Grabbing her duffel bag, she stuffed some clothes into it and opened the window – making her way down using the makeshift rope.

She took out her phone, noticing her text hadn't yet been read. It wouldn't matter either way, seeing as it wouldn't be the first time she showed up unannounced.

Walking down the street, she stared at the ground, eyes glazing over as she threatened to cry. But she wouldn't, crying was embarrassing. Not only that, but it would warrant Gyuri unwanted sympathy.

Her mother always empathized with Gyuri, and never gave her those pathetic, puppy eyes full of pity. And now, her mother was dead. How lovely.

She paused her steps as she arrived at Suho's house. Gyuri only just now realized she was still in her uniform, despite the fact school had ended quite a while ago. Knocking on the door, she fixed her hair, trying to make it somewhat presentable as it stuck out in multiple directions.

The door opened and she was welcomed by her childhood friend, who stepped out of the way for her to enter. She did, placing the duffel bag in her hands onto the floor.

"What happened this time?" he asked, motioning for the female to sit on the couch. She obliged, sighing as she recalled the previous events.

"Sedatives," she replied vaguely, not wanting to go into any further detail. Suho nodded, getting the memo and sat next to her.

"Your father's a nutjob, you know," he said, and Gyuri nodded, leaning her head on his shoulder.

"If mom was still here she'd say he just cares a bit too much. She always looked at the bright side of things," the latter said, closing her eyes and relishing in his warmth. "But then again, if she was here, everything would be normal."

The older male nodded, "Yeah, I get it." And Gyuri winced, forgetting that Suho was in a similar position to her – just not as extreme.

"Your dad is... something," she agreed. Gyuri felt calm, her swimming thoughts fizzling down to nothing. Her heart had slowed down, feeling warm and fuzzy instead of tense. She felt safe with Suho.

"You should get a boyfriend," Suho's sudden outburst making Gyuri's heart clench. "Then–"

"I don't want one," she spat. Her last relationship ended horribly. "Not after Jihyuk." Suho nodded, not pressing any further. The latter knew she wasn't in the mood for idle chatter. Then again, when was she ever?

Suho and Gyuri's friendship dynamic was more sit in each other's presence and enjoy one another's company. Unless you counted a one-sided, unrequited love as a friendship dynamic.

The brunette understood Suho was never one for romantic relationships. She can't recall a single time Suho had ever had a crush one someone – not even one of those stupid, pre-school crushes.

And that was a bittersweet fact for Gyuri. She knew it meant he would never see her the way she saw him, but it also meant that he wouldn't fall for anyone else.

Bittersweet. Gyuri would define many things as bittersweet. Her father was one thing, while she hated him, he was also her excuse to spend extra periods of time with Suho.

But her mother's death was bitter. The type of bitter that has a horrid after taste, and has your mouth sting and ache from how much you hate the taste. So bitter, Gyuri couldn't sleep.

Who wouldn't be haunted by the image of their mother's dead, pale body laying on their front yard? When Gyuri went to see if she was okay – which she clearly wasn't – her body was cold. Stone cold. And that day has haunted Gyuri ever since. After an autopsy, she apparently died after a heart attack, but who would look that dead and pale after a heart attack? It look more like she had been suffocated, strangled, maybe.

And due to Gyuri's skepticism, she's had nightmares ever since about the multiple ways her mother could have been murdered. Who wouldn't?

But right now, she was with Suho. And that's all that mattered to her.