I've realized something about myself, and I'm not proud of it. I always say I'm independent, and I'm better off alone and all that. But it's all an act.
I don't know how long I've been like this. I just know now that I am.
I do need people to tell me I'm pretty, to love me, to make me feel worth it. It's awful and stupid and I hate it, but I can't look in the mirror without thinking: Oh my gosh, what is that disgusting thing?
I need someone to tell me I'm not a "disgusting thing." I need someone to love me when I can't love me. I don't think I'm worth anything, but I need other people to tell me I am in order to keep on living. I'm not living for me. I'm living for anyone who needs me. It's a sad existence, but that's life.
Anyway, my point is, I do need someone to tell me I'm an okay little lady in order for me to feel like getting up each morning. That's all I need. But, I rarely get it.
