𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑭𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒇𝒖𝒍 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑭𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒍𝒆𝒔𝒔

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐒𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍 | People Sometimes Scare Me

Ｐｅｏｐｌｅ  Ｓｏｍｅｔｉｍｅｓ   Ｓｃａｒｅ   Ｍｅ
✫

"Just do it, no one's looking," he says under his breath. I quickly scan the aisles, swiping a can of beer and stuffing it into my flannel pocket beneath the denim jacket. I search the liquor store with a more intensive scan to see if anyone was looking but no one was.

"Did you?" I ask Birdie and he nods towards his trench coat soundlessly. I begin walking to the register, gliding my hand towards the candies at the front and grabbed a pack of mint gum. I set it down on the counter and the woman looks back up at me skeptically. She snaps her gum, puts it into the register and reads the price.

I pay and walk out the glass doors, followed by a soft chime as I hold it open for Birdie. We start down the parking lot, heading closer to town habitually, without realizing that the day was nearing late afternoon.

"If you could be any animal, what would you be?" Birdie asks me with a snarky laugh. He takes out his blue beer can and pops it open. The liquid fizzes at the top with a white, bubbly foam.

"Hmm," I think hard while we approach a children's park in town. There's an old Boy and Girl Scouts' house that stands at the center. My sister used to be a Girl Scout and she'd attend this little house where they would have meetings and get badges. I would always play on the swings and it was nice returning to it for once.

We hop over the small wooden fence that stands to our knees and approach the clearing of dirt where an old, rusty playground is situated. Snow veils the slide and ice forms on the cold, metal. The chains attached to the swings are rusty and when we apply pressure on the seat to sit down, it cries in protest. I begin to rock on my heels, pushing back and allowing the current to pull me forward. The simple mechanism released the heavy knot in my chest.

"I think you are the only person I could ever see myself trusting," I admit suddenly. The words spilled from lips like a baby unable to eat food normally. By saying I trusted him was another way of saying I didn't trust me. I said those words so fluently.

"Really?" Birdie questions, naturally surprised. "What about your sister?"

"She's good, but..." I close my eyes, sealing everything in darkness. I pop open the beer and the bubbles gurgle at the lip of the can. I take a long sip, the unique flavor returning to my tongue. I think of all those parties I attended and how they usually ended. "I really fucked up our relationship. She always looked up to me, I think things changed ever since October."

"Understandable," he says.

"I know, but sometimes I wish I didn't fuck things up."

"You wish you never did it?"

"I wish I got away with it," I mutter, shocked by my words, I look up at him, but he's sitting on the swing, still as statue.

He takes a sip of his drink. "Understandable." I sigh of relief at the words and at his tone that he spoke them in. He looks almost okay with what I said, but I can't let go of the idea that I said that to a complete stranger, nonetheless.

We sit in silence with nothing but the cries of protest coming from the chains that I swing on. My shoes scuff the dirt, my hands cold with the benumbing ice melting in the holes of my sleeves. My phone begins to vibrate and I slide it out, seeing the caller I.D.. The familiar girl and her beautiful toothy grin. At seeing her lips tinted in a shiny gloss, I taste it on my tongue. As if I am holding her, kissing her, tasting her. The lipgloss smells like a basket of strawberry candies and tastes not like how you'd expect. It tastes like chemicals more-so with the addition to her typically mint-infused breath.