Epiphany

Chapter 1

17th of January 2018

Nothing has changed.
I'm still the same boring Delilah Trove with anxiety, the same Delilah Trove who's quiet and the same Delilah Trove who doesn't open up to anyone.

I don't even get why I have to write in this stupid journal.
It's not like I'm magically gonna figure out my whole downfall, like every main character who is in the same position as me.

I'm in no way saying I am the main character in this life time.
No no no!
I'm saying writing this journal is not gonna bring me to realisation anytime soon, or ever.

Anyway I have homework to do rather than write why I shouldn't have a journal.

I'll write some more in a few days.

D x

As I put down my pen and packed my diary away.
I pulled my caramel hair into a loose bun and tuned to took out of my bedroom window .

It was a windy day, and the sky was smudged with different shades of grey.
The sea was thrashing each other, as they threw themselves over each other, making little white heads appear on top of each wave.

It was 4pm on a Sunday, the worst day of the week, and I was packing my bag for the dreaded Monday morning.

I wasn't a very popular kid at the small school of saint ives secondary school, but I got by with my small group.
There were no friendship groups larger than six really, except the popular kids, with were a mix of girls and boys.

Monday morning had arrived, and it was time to start the week.

I met my friends at the bus stop, as they all got off the bus, and we entered the school for another horrible week.
I tended to zone out, into my own thoughts quite regularly, especially when my friends talked about how amazing their weekends all were.

They all had amazing lives, driving up to Padstow, to meet the boys they had been texting, or surfing at watergate bay, with their expensive boards, their parents had got for them.

Where as my weekend, I had spent it just like every other weekend, shut in my bedroom, so I couldn't hear my parents fighting.

I didn't really have a best friend, but out of the five girls around me, the closest one to me would be Maria.
She knew I had anxiety but didn't know why.
I don't think I'll ever tell any of them what caused it, I don't really trust them.
And yes I know, how cliche! A story about a girl with trust issues and anxiety!
But I mean even you're lucky that you get to know my story.

As we approached school, Maria pulled me aside, as she did every Monday morning.
"How are you?" She asked, with the same sympathetic look in her eyes that she always had.

"I'm fine, no different than normal" I shrugged.

As I tried to walk away, she grabbed my arm.

"Well you don't look it" she sighed.
I turned around to face her.

"I was thinking we could go down to the beach after school! Just me and you, not the others" She paused.

"How does that sound?" She sounded hopeful.
I gave her a weak smile.

"Yeah maybe!" She gave me a light punch to the arm, then we continued to walk into school.

The day went slow, as per usual.
But I liked it, dragging the time till I had to go back to my dreaded home.

I didn't eat lunch with my friends, as I had a meeting with my councillor.
I had to bring in my diary, so she could analyse it, to see if there was anything in there that could help her understand my troubles.
But all she's gonna find is my list of 10 reasons why I shouldn't have a journal.