What Could Have Been

I'm Scared To See The Ending

As she descended between the floors of the hospital, the butterflies in her stomach were slowly turning into gnats. Gone was the nervous flutter that came from being under Ethan's stare, replaced with the piercing anxiety of the conversation she was already dreading to have.

She played with the little gold locket that hung around her neck as she exited onto the floor and made her way to the conference room her dad had told her to meet him in. The locket was a present from Uncle Mark for her last birthday, but at the time she was told that it had come from her father.

That night, her father had chosen to partake in a surgery instead of joining her and her mother for her birthday dinner, despite being a private practitioner on his night off and having promised her that he would be present. Her Uncle Mark had shown up in his place at her father's request instead. He gave her a box which contained a delicate golden heart-shaped locket. It was outlined with a floral pattern and an 'S' was engraved on the front. Inside was a picture of her parents on one side and her on the other. Uncle Mark had said that it was a present that her father had picked out for her but she knew better. Her father had never been one for these types of presents. Her mother was the one who was big on gift-giving. His money may have been used to purchase it, but the present had 'Mark Sloan' written all over it.

She neared the room and she could see her father through the glass walls. He had a pen in his hand that he was twirling and tapping at his head. He had a perplexed look on his face as he stared at the document in front of him. The divorce papers. He looked almost pained that he had to be the one to sign them first.

She knocked at the door frame twice to announce her presence. He looked up at her a little startled at first, but ultimately softened as he realized who it was. "Hey, you said you wanted to talk to me?" Leaned her shoulder onto the door frame to feign nonchalance. "Yeah, yes, yeah. Um uh, have a seat." he fumbled while gesturing to the seat adjacent to his. To be fair, they hadn't really spoken since that day in the elevator so the nerves on both ends were justified.

She pushed herself off of her side and pulled out the chair he had offered to her. She warily eyed the document in front of him as she sat down. Maybe he'd ask her to deliver them to her mother after he signed them. No, he wasn't that cruel. Right?

"So, what did you want to talk about?" she dragged out that first syllable as she tried to cut the awkwardness that was trying to settle in. He stumbled around for what to say for a moment before placing his hands on the document and getting started. "Your mother told you about these right?" She nodded as she brought her eyes up to meet him. The ocean blue she had known all her life looked tired. He looked worn down. He looked uncertain.

"Yeah, we talked about it this morning." He nodded before continuing. "Before I make my decision, I want to ask you what you think."

"What do I think about you guys getting a divorce?" she trailed off a little at the end not quite sure what he wanted to hear. He shook his head and cleared his throat. "No, I mean do you think I should sign them?"

Well, what kind of answer was he expecting? She opened her mouth to ask him what he meant again but he clarified it himself before she could speak a word.

"Do you think that your mother still deserves a chance, I mean. Do you think it would be premature of me to sign these?" He folded his hands together and rested his elbows on the table. His shoulders were tense as he awaited her answer.

She took a deep breath and closed her eyes for a moment to gather strength. She opened her eyes to meet him and nodded once. "Yes," she breathed. "I definitely think that mom deserves a chance to make things right. And that's not because I'm biased and I just don't want you guys to split up, I really believe it." She hurriedly threw the last part in to clarify herself. As much as she wanted her parents to stay together, she didn't want them to do it out of obligation to her. She couldn't force her parents to live miserably in a loveless marriage. Her dad asked for her opinion and she just delivered. The ultimate decision was still his to make.