forever after all 🤍

eleven.

A blinding light. A non stop ringing. I lay there, head against the cement, I wasn't even sure if I was alive. Is this what the afterlife feels like? Was Hotch okay? How big was the explosion? Was the team on the plane okay? The light was so warm... I wanted to reach out and touch it. "Emily, it's not your time..." I heard a familiar voice say. "Tsia?" "Yes, it's me. Emily, you can't come to the light. Not yet. Aaron needs you, Jack needs you. Your team needs you." "They're alive?!?" "Wake up Emily, and see for yourself."

I try to force my eyes open, but it's blurry. The world around me seems to be spinning a million miles a minute. "Emily!!! Aaron??" I hear JJ screaming. She runs over, holding me close to her. She checks my pulse. "Emily, can you hear me?" I try to nod, but my body won't move. "Pulse is weak and thready. Medics need to get here, right now." She starts to panic, and so do I, as I realize the giant piece of shrapnel, just inches from my lung. I can't feel myself moving, but I can feel myself begin to hyperventilate. "Em, Em calm down. Try to breathe. Everything will be okay. Stay with me." She took my hand in hers, hold on with her JJ death grip. I try to focus on her and staying strong, but within a minute I drifted back into unconsciousness.

I blink open my eyes, slowly taking in the bright lights and hospital smell. "Emily, you're awake!" JJ and Spencer both rushed to my side. I try to talk, but am shushed by JJ. "Don't talk Em, save your strength.You have a concussion- a bad one. A couple bruised ribs, a fractured arm, you had surgery on the shrapnel in your stomach, you coded twice. Emily, I'm sorry, that's not all." JJ took your hand in hers, caressing the top of it. "When the car exploded, you were standing up. It threw you backwards, hard. When you landed on the cement, it fractured your T1 and T2 vertebrae. You're going to need extensive rehab if you ever want to walk again."

I start to panic. No way this all happened to me. "Emily, just breathe. Take a deep breath with me." I squeeze her hand tightly with mine. "You've been asleep for 4 days. We had you airlifted to Quantico from Key West so we can monitor your progress." I struggle to talk, but manage to get a few words out. "Is-Is Hotch alive? "Yes, but Emily, he was in worse shape then you were. Morgan did everything he could to get him to the hospital on time, but he had internal injuries far worse then yours. He hasn't woken up yet. They're worried he might have brain damage from hitting his head."  I start to cry, tears streaming down my face. "Emily, he's going to be okay. We all will be." It wasn't until now I notice the cuts and bruises on JJ's arms and face. "JJ, did you find the bomber?" She shook her head no. "He was taking pictures
of us JJ, I heard the camera before the bomb went off." JJ frowned. "Emily, get some rest. We will solve this case as soon as you are well enough." I drifted back to sleep in the next moments.

Tsia promised me he would be alive. I can't do this without him. Our wedding is in six months, and I promised him we would walk down the aisle together. Now, they didn't even know if I could walk. I let my dreams take over my thoughts, me and Hotch walking a beach. Is this our honeymoon? Within a second, the dream turned into a nightmare. A bomb blew up on the beach, and Hotch died in my arms. I awoke with a jolt, struggling to catch my breath. "Hey, it's okay Em, you're safe." JJ was holding my hand once again. "JJ, where my engagement ring?" "It's in your patient bag, I can grab it if you want?" I nodded, and she brought it to me, slipping it on my finger. "Emily, his stats are improving. The doctors want to pull him off of some sedatives, but they need your permission first. You're his next of kin." Next of kin... I was his next of kin? "Of course, they can do anything they need. As long as he lives." I signed the paperwork with my one good hand. "JJ, I'm ready to try and walk. Can you help me?" She looked troubled. "Are you sure Emily? I don't want you to get discouraged if it doesn't happen right away." I nod, sliding myself into a sitting position on the edge of the bed. I pushed all my weight onto my knees and ankles, pulling myself up, before tumbling down to be caught by JJ. "Emily, they say it's going to be a baby learning to walk all over again. It's not going to be easy." I took both of her hands, hoisted myself up again, this time balancing enough to stay upright. "JJ, I have to be able to walk in time for the wedding."

A doctor rushed in the room. "Mr. Hotchner is awake, and asking about Emily." "I wanna see him!" "I'm not sure if that's the best idea Em. He's in pretty tough shape." "JJ please. I need to." She sighed, and Morgan and her lifted me into a wheelchair. She pushed me there, carting a IV bag full of medications with me. There he was, laying almost unconscious in his bed. His eyes were swollen black, his body covered in bruising and cuts. "Aaron.." "Emily?" "It's me honey, I'm right here." I reached out and grabbed his hand, never wanting to let go. "I love you." He had already drifted back asleep.