90's Blazed

chapter eight: all good things

The only problem with fears is sometimes you over come them. I wasn't going to overcome my fear of dying and I sure hoped Johno wouldn't overcome his fear either, except sometimes some people slip through the cracks.

Just like the party Johno, Ricki and Kasey went to, something really important happened, except it wasn't Ricki and Kasey having a bang, it wasn't even a bang. Johno got straight up drunk and stoned as usual and then kissed some girl. The thing is i understand. Ricki is more angry at him then me, but i just can't be angry at him. Even if he did all this on purpose i couldn't be mad despite all the reasons to be. Ricki said I'm obsessed and maybe i am but i guess i'm just inlove and in all honesty i feel pathetic, i should hate him, his given me all the reasons to.
"have you spoken to him" Ricki gave me a sympathetic smile.
"no, i haven't even seen him"

Thoughout that day i saw him. But he just avoid me, like i was the one who did something wrong. Everytime i look he just ran, we made eye contact but he just looked away, straight away. No eye galaxy thing, nothing. More than anything I was mad, i didn't care he kissed someone else, i honestly did not care. If only he'd come up to my house at twelve am with roses and a guitar and played me a song, then things would definatly be fine, even if he came up to me and apoligised or just actually came up to me, even then it would be fine. But he's acting like we're already done and were not, at least i don't think we are.
"seen him yet?" Ricki asked as we headed out of school. As soon we stepped out she pulled out a joint and lit up passing it to me.
"yeah"
"where do you want to go? let's go somewhere bloody good, somewhere you can clear your mind"
"the rocks?" i suggested

Turns out the rocks would normally clear your mind except if your in my situation where the place to clear your mind was the place where the reason you want to clear your mind took you. It wasn't even the same, something was missing and it was Johno.
"stop" she punched me on my shoulder.
"what the fuck Ricki?" i rubbed my hand up and down trying to numb the pain.
"stop bitch, stop thinking about him. He's a dick head!" she threw the hand up in the air and put them on her legs to help her get up.
"i'm going to see him" i stood up aswell.

She took a deep breathe, she was annoyed but she understood. "Fine" she said grabbing my hand and leading me back to the road.
We held hands the whole way while we waited for someone to come by and pick us up, Ricki's shoulder held my head and i started crying.