Haunted

13 | beggars can't be choosers

The next morning, Hazel washed her face in the sink, and lifted her head to make eye contact with Red as she stepped out of one of the shower stalls. She froze, water dripping from her face, while Red's expression was impassive. They stood like that for a moment, Hazel bent at an awkward angle and Red clutching her towel around herself, before Irish broke the spell.

"You done?" he asked, and Red's eyes flicked towards him. She nodded and stepped out of the way, exiting the bathroom without another glance towards Hazel. She took in as deep a breath as she could without inhaling the droplets of water sliding down her nose and screwed her eyes shut, bracing her hands on the edge of the porcelain basin of the sink.

How had things gotten so fucked up between them? She'd thought their fight from last night would be resolved already, but the way that Red had looked at her rejected that assumption. She'd gotten over her momentary annoyance at Red, spending time in her mind palace the night before laying on the floor of the library and thinking through their conversation. Red was feeling insecure, and she'd taken it out on Hazel, that was all. Her own reaction had been petty, the way she'd gotten defensive instead of being supportive. After reasoning with herself, she'd moved past her irritation, but it seemed that Red hadn't.

She splashed water on her face as if she could use it to drown out her thoughts. Because suddenly she couldn't stop imagining Red never speaking to her again, Red deciding to end their friendship. She'd been Hazel's first friend as an amnesiac, and she didn't think she could handle life as a soldier without her. Plus, if she and Red stopped being friends, what would happen to the Colors? Blue had pretty clearly picked Red over her last night when she'd chased her out of the dining hall, so did that mean that Hazel was destined to be alone?

"Good morning," a dreamy voice said next to her, and she jumped, one of the subjects of her thoughts appearing beside her. Blindly, she grabbed her face cloth and wiped at her eyes, opening them to see Blue standing to her right.

She wiped the water from her lips. "Morning," she replied hesitantly, having already gotten so far into her own head that she wondered if she and Blue were still friends.

Blue smiled. "How was your night?" she asked, turning on the tap to wash her hands.

Last night. Last night was... frustrating. She'd run upstairs to grab the Occlumency book from her room, but when she'd returned to the library, she hadn't found it empty. She'd paused in the doorway as two pairs of eyes turned towards her, and before she could think about it, she'd made a ridiculous squeaking noise and retreated. She didn't mind Malfoy's presence in the library, but there had been a woman standing by his seat at the table talking with him. And from the way that she hushed when Hazel opened the door, it felt wrong to intrude. So, she'd raced back up to her room and tried to practice Occlumency there. But it had been nothing but a failure. It seemed that she was unable to enter her mind palace when she wasn't physically in the library.

"Fine," she said in reply, forcing her annoyance at the previous night out of her head. "How was yours? Is Red..." she trailed off, not knowing how exactly to phrase what she wanted to ask.

Blue shut off the faucet and reached for a paper towel to dry her hands. "She's still upset," she admitted, and Hazel's heart fell. That was it. Their friendship was over. The Colors had dissolved, and her life was back to black and white. "But she'll be all right. She just needs time."

"Right," Hazel murmured, avoiding the other girl's gaze, feeling as though she might cry if she made eye contact with her. What was she supposed to do now?

At breakfast, she sat with Joker and Buck, avoiding looking at Blue and Red who still huddled together. When she took her seat next to Buck, the conversation at their end of the table fell silent in surprise at her seating choice, though nobody directly mentioned it. Buck, Joker, and Pixie just gave her reassuring smiles that made her want to throw up. It was pity that she was spotting in their eyes, in the way they glanced at one another with an unspoken question.