Blooming Suspicion

Company-less

Shuffling into the doors of my local convenience store, I glance at the man behind the counter. He looks about 16 and appears to be Indian, he should be an easy one to get by. I glance at the clock behind the cashier, its 2:48am. I continue walking to the back of the store to the aisle with batteries, barbecue utensils and bug sprays. Battling all the utensils, I search for a box of feminine hygiene products and mange to successfully find it as it had fallen slightly down the back of the shelf.

I pull it out and hide it slightly. Reaching into my jacket for my 3-inch switchblade and tear into the top of the box. I pull apart the sliced open top and pull out the contents, half-a-pound of hand-grown marijuana. I slide out a roll of money and place it inside the box and carefully fold it closed. I throw it back to where it was and stand up, grabbing the nearest item to me; a can of bug spray.

I stride up to the clinical white counter, with wire strung up in several rows for safety. I lean on the counter and roll the can of spray towards the employee. He scans it and throws it in a can, he then tells me in his accent, the price of it. I pay with the coins I only just found in my cargo shorts.

I stride confidently out the door and into my dodgy old car. Throwing my new stash of weed into the small compartment under the steering wheel as I start off down the newly laid bitumen, towards my mates apartment.

I drive an eerie, rusted Toyota ute, one I borrow from my friend, Harrison, that I live with. We all call Harrison 'H' as we don't want the cops to know his real name. H and I have been close since I met him downtown at a suppliers house when I was picking up my weekly supply. Since I didn't have anywhere to stay at the time, I stayed with H in his dingy apartment with his bloody annoying cat. At least living with him is peaceful and means I can get free weed.

I have been a drug addict for over 9 years now and I haven't had a steady girlfriend since then either.

She was the reason that made me dive into this illegal mess. She was Nicole, my girlfriend for 2 years and I loved her more than I loved the world. Nikki was perfection portrayed in a human figure. I was willing to marry her and I was so close to proposing to her too...

One night, before she came home, I made a wonderful 5 course meal for the two of us. We had an excellent start to the night until about halfway through the main meal. I had said to her that I needed to ask her a question but, she then interrupted me and told me that she had a question too. Trying to be a gentleman, I let her talk first.

I remember her clearly saying to me, "I have been thinking of asking, ummm, telling you this for a while now, please don't freak out, babe" she paused as tears started to well in her crystal blue eyes.

She continued, "I can't take a relation ship anymore, with work and studying and family, I can't do it. I am so sorry"

I also remembering her running out the door and later receiving a threatening phone call from her mother as I was trying to call her, every single second. Knowing that she didn't want to talk to me anymore, my heart sank and I swallowed my heart and the last of my pride.

A tear rolled down my cheek and I whipped off the hood of my jacket, almost swerving out of control as I knocked the steering wheel. An angry driver in the opposite direction beeped their horn at me in disgust.

I turn into the small alleyway that is connected to the apartment building. I swing the door open as fast as I could and jump out into a pile of garbage. I sigh and walk up the first, of three, flights of stairs to our place.

I open the barred door and walk onto the stained rug inside the door, only to see H fast asleep on the old couch with the TV blaring. I yell his name and he jumps in fright, grabbing the gun he always keeps beside him and pointing it at my head.

"Hey, hey, hey, cool it, it's me, mate" I try to calm him down.

"Oh god, don't do that again, you idiot" he chuckles.

"How's everything, bud?" he asks me while grabbing a bite of the stale sandwich off of the counter.

"Eh, why you ask?" I say, sniffling at the thought of Nicole.

"Is she bothering you again?"

"Yeah, shutup!" I scream at him as I raise my right fist to his nose, grabbing his collar with my spare had.

"Get your bloody hands off of me!" he exclaims through the whole building.

"Don't talk about her, you asshole!" I scream at him as I throw my fist into his face, throwing him into the ground.

He gets up off of the floor with a horrible look on his face. H throws punches at me but, I manage to dodge. Running into the kitchen I grab a candlestick holder and hold it out in front of me as a weapon. H grabs the closest thing to him, an old beer bottle and shatters the end of it, making it a brutal murder weapon.

"Is this how you want things to end?!" H yells at me.

I drop the holder with a thud and think about what I had just done, I didn't mean it. I just don't know what gets ahold of me every-now-and-then. Its like a can't control myself and my violence.

"I am sorry, mate, I really am" I apologise.

"It's okay, you just had me scared" H replies, smashing the other half of the bottle on the floor.

He continues with a smirk, "Clean up this mess, you tool".