Bound Beneath the Moon [ONC 2021] ✔

Chapter 21

Fuck, why can't I get ahold of myself?

    After Lauhin was thrown into a prison chamber, I went to my room. Watching him being tossed around and abused wasn't enough for me. It still isn't. I mean, he took the love of my life from me. If only I could have the goddesses punish him they'd know exactly what to do. They would serve justice for the man who ruined the life of the woman they built in honor of me.

    Mom and Dad were pissed. They fired the guards who listened to me and let Jhorluahin out. They apologized for my behavior, glared at me, even scorned me.

    What kind of queen are you if you can't even treat your fiance with respect?

    "Azalea?"

    It's Dad's voice. The door's open just a smidge so he can stick his head through.

    I can't tell I'm yelling again. Word after word just pours out of my mouth. I know I went overboard judging by how his worried expression melted into one shock. But why should I care? He's the reason I'm here in the first place. If he and Mom hadn't been so overprotective over me after my brothers' passings, then maybe I would have been able to walk the streets and meet someone. Maybe I would have something other than forbidden love. Then the whole competition wouldn't have started. I wouldn't have met Erie. And I wouldn't have had the last thing I could love stolen from me.

    Sure, Kavas and Taquib made her in honor for me, just for my happiness, but it's not worth it. None of this was worth it. I would rather have never met her than have her taken away from me.

    Erie. I love her name. Erie, Erie, Erie. Sweet, beautiful Ithircas. Everything she went by had a heart-warming melody to it.

It's just like Dad's voice. Even when he's on the verge of breaking, it sounds as glorious as always. "What happened?"

I shove my face back into my pillow. My body curls up around the blankets. Maybe they'll copy her embrace for me. Maybe it'll feel like I'm in her arms again. But how could I hope for that? Nothing measures up to her. Nothing can mimic her in any way possible. Erie is Erie, one of a kind, the only girl in the universe I want to stay with. She could stab me with the dagger she gifted me and I would thank her for it.

I swallow the lump in my throat. "I don't want to talk about it." The lump rises back up.

Dad's being persistent again. "Starpiece, baby—"

I'm screaming again. "I SAID I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT."

The look in his eyes. Why does it hurt so much? He's one of the reasons I'm here in the first place. He has no right to be confused or pitiful.

I'm so focused on him I don't even notice I'm crying. It's not until I feel my pillows when I realize they're drenched in tears. The rivers I've cried within the past few minutes. All because of a girl. No— not a girl. The girl. The one and only.

Is this what Marious was thinking before he went over the edge? Pain? Oh so, so much pain? Is that what dad's trying to do? Not lose another child?

He should be trying harder if that's the case.

He seems to have finally given up. At last, he sighs. "If there's anything or want or need, remember you have family, okay?"

Family? What family? After what they've done, after what just happened, I don't know if they are my family anymore.

My heart feels lighter than before, but at the same time, the weight of my world is holding it down. Everything just gets worse when Dad leaves the room. When he leaves me alone to wallow in my misery.